Dating! Doesn’t that sound fun? You meet someone, you spend time with each other, you develop butterfly feelings and now you are all lovey-dovey calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Ehh, wait right there! Sorry to break the news to you but it’s not that easy anymore nowadays.
Instead of a meet-cute at the library or coffee shop, you swipe right each other on Tinder or get lucky on OkCupid. Instead of going on dates and forming a committed relationship, you text, hang out, hook up for months (maybe years), and yet still have no idea what you’re doing with each other.
This is especially prevalent among people in their 20s who are not ready for commitment and still trying to find out what they really want.
If you’re one of those 20-something and available to mingle, here’s 7 things you should know about modern dating.
1. You’ll hear a lot of “I’m not looking for anything serious right now.”
For sure there are people in their 20s out there who look for a serious relationship but most don’t, especially those who are under 25. Some are busy figuring their sh*t out, some enjoy playing the field as these days with online dating the available options are endless. Either way, they aren’t thinking about settling down with family and children anytime soon. And if not that, “I’m not looking for anything serious” is an easy and gentle way to turn people down and establish a casual fling instead.
2. Everyone seems to already have someone to fall back on when they get lonely.
With the help of technology, online dating apps, it’s easy now more than ever to get with someone. People are either texting, casually hooking up or full on dating each other. Even if they’re not actively doing any of those things, they probably have someone in their contact list that they can contact anytime for a good time.
3. People feel more comfortable having sex than actually talking to each other.
People meet, have dinner, get drinks, make out, have sex, and have sex again and again. And it’s highly possible that they know nothing of substance about each other at this point. To many, getting naked and exchanging body fluids is a mere physical activity that is definitely easier than talking and opening up about themselves.
4. No one talks on the phone anymore.
Texting and only texting is a perfectly acceptable form of communication – either to set up dates or to actually maintain the relationship. People don’t like talking on the phone or think no one talks on the phone so they don’t do that either. Perhaps, to many, talking on the phone feels too formal, especially when “I’m chill” is frequently thrown around among the casual daters.
5. This generation doesn’t court each other.
People don’t court each other. Dating has become so much more gender-equal and less straightforward — it’s not always clear-cut if a meeting is a date or not. Also, it can be rather backwards. Instead of meeting each other organically then finding out even the most basic info, nowadays people are likely to know most things about their date before even deciding to date thanks to Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, personal websites, etc.
6. There are likely more drinks dates than dinner dates.
As the approach to dating becomes more casual among people in their 20s and considering the financial situation of most 20-something isn’t that great yet, they’re more likely to opt for drinks date than dinner date, not to mention having drinks is low key, cheap, puts people in good mood and requires little effort.
7. You don’t really know where you stand with someone.
You don’t know if you’re talking, seeing each other, hanging out, hooking up, or actually dating. Being boyfriend and girlfriend does not automatically happen – if you want it, you need to bring it up. People can be together for months and years, having done everything including meeting the parents, and still wonder if they’re boyfriend and girlfriend. And having sex definitely does not mean you guys are together and only having sex with each other – that’s a whole discussion you’ll have to have to figure out where you stand.