Relationships are like puzzles. We all go through that awkward dating process trying to find the right piece. Each one that ends becomes a finished chapter; each one becomes a new notch in your belt; each one leaves a new scar in your heart.
But there’s always that one relationship you had that you can’t seem to let go of.
You know why it ended. You know it was the right thing to do too, because sometimes, the hardest decisions are the right ones. Yet the memories of him flood back on a rainy day.
Like any relationship, it started with a flicker of a flame. You were the sun and he was the moon – total opposites, but totally in sync. You talked on the phone for hours until one of your phones died (and then he got a charger and called you back). You FaceTimed in the dark so that you could feel his presence and it brought solace to a long tiring day. You argued with loud voices that turned into tears, and then into laughter.
Somehow, he crept into your life bit by bit without you realizing it.
Days and months go by and you start to think that he could be the one for you – the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. He walked into your life and made you realize that he was everything that you needed and wanted. He was your best friend and your lover. The best combination.
But something happened. Somewhere along the way, the long talks on the phone at night became talks about the future. Somewhere along the way, fear and doubt crept into each other’s mind in the dark. Somewhere along the way, the arguments ended with more tears.
Somehow, insecurity and uncertainty collected and clouded everything. Somehow, time was not on your side anymore. It was scary when suddenly the love you two shared was on fire and burning down everything so quickly.
Now months and years go by, and even after many rainy days have helped put out the fire, you still miss him. You miss his smile and blue eyes. You miss sleeping on his chest and falling asleep to his soft heartbeat. You miss his hugs that held you so tight, you lost your breath. You miss his hand reaching for yours while he drove. You miss tippy toeing so that you could reach his lips when you said goodbye at the door.
The memories still burn in the back of your mind like remnants of smoke trying to escape.
But the memories also become distorted and your mind starts to second guess everything you had with him. You start to think he didn’t love you. You start to think he didn’t care about you. You start to think he was just using you. You start to question whether you two were ever in sync. You start to wonder if you were meant for each other like it was written in the stars, or you were just destined to burn bright and die quickly like the stars.
But he did love you. He loved you in a way that didn’t need any words.
He cared about you when he tried to protect you from the hurt he caused. He cherished you because you were his best friend who knew him better than anybody else. You became a part of him and he became a part of you. He may be another chapter, another notch, another scar – but he’s also so much more. He left such a big impression on your life because he helped you grow into the person you are today. He pushed your buttons and challenged your inner fears. He tempted your lust and awakened your desires. He poked and probed your mind and made you realize your potential.
Yea. He was one of those relationships that burned so brightly and passionately, it’s hard to forget. So don’t. You may have lost a best friend and a fiery love, but you’ve also found yourself.