“What’s wrong with me?” is the question single girls out there might have asked themselves for hundreds of times. And I will not exclude myself and pretend that this thought never occurred to me, ever. I have been existing in this planet for nineteen years now and not once have I entered a romantic relationship. It’s not that I’ve been in total isolation to the male species or that I’m stoic about love and affection. I just don’t see myself in a romantic relationship committing my time, emotion and money into a single person when I have tons of wonderful friends and a variety of interests that would keep me busy and happy.
So first let us clear things up. No, I will not lecture you about the sloppy way you dress or instruct you to lose weight or to change the way you laugh. I’m here to explain why single ladies are single and why it’s perfectly fine that they are.
1. We cannot endure the awkward atmosphere.
I always ask my friends how they managed to survive their first romantic dates. Knowing that you do not just go out as friends is something that will surely change the way you treat each other. You’ll start to ask awkward questions and start saying awkward answers. Most single girls just do not see how people enjoy doing this. We’d rather stay within our comfort zones and watch DVDs at home than risk any chance of not enjoying a movie we paid for and think of about a thousand what if’s at the end of the day. “What if he doesn’t like me?” “What if I bored him?” “What if he doesn’t ask me out again?” We would love to avoid stumbling upon the guy we dated with the most awkward “hello” by avoiding dating itself.
2. We are scared of getting hurt and failing.
It’s scary enough to take the big leap; what’s even scarier is the possibility that the landing might not be as smooth as how fairy tales had always depicted it to be. It’s just damn terrifying to think that things might not work out the way we wanted it to be. Not all stories end in a happily ever after; and that’s the reality we all have to accept. The bottom line is that we are just not yet ready to venture on the possibility that the road might be too rough for us to handle. We are scared of knowing that what the movies say about heartaches and heartbreaks are true and so we remain in this no-boyfriend zone where it’s safe, secure, happy and warm.
3. We haven’t found the “right” person.
Some people are hopeless romantics but even those who are not wouldn’t settle for just any one. We do not necessarily look for Mr. Perfect, we just want someone serious enough who wants to commit to a long term relationship. He doesn’t have to be tall, dark, handsome and as hot as Adam Levine; we just want to experience falling head over heels and be completely love drunk. We want someone that is worth all those risks and pain that love offers alongside the butterflies in our stomach. We want something real; and the fact that we are still single talks a lot about not having found that special person yet.
4. We are afraid of not escaping.
Let’s face the truth, people make mistakes. Sometimes you thought that it’s love but then later on felt that it wasn’t. How on earth will you able to set yourself free from being tied to a person whom you do not want to get hurt just because of your bad decision-making skills? What’s worse is that even if you manage to set yourself free, there will always be an invisible wall dividing the two of you apart. Everything will never be the same again. You’ll be forever stuck inside Mandy Moore’s “Can We Still Be Friends?” reality.
5. We don’t feel a hollow emptiness inside us.
The simple truth is that we’re totally fine. If you’re not okay about being single and you’re just truly desperate about having a date, I bet you can just pick up a random guy or some campus flirt and ask him to go out with you. If you haven’t, that means you do not see the need to. You’re absolutely great with what you are right now. No need for a man. Buckle up and show the world how wonderful, independent and strong single ladies are.