It Has Always Been You

Morgan Halas
Morgan Halas

I never thought that this kind of affinity is possible. I’ve only met you a short while back; but when I look at you now, it feels like I’ve known you forever. You’re like a memory from childhood I’m rediscovering, and every part I uncover turns out to be a missing piece of myself. I may not know every last detail that makes you who you are, but I get you. And you get me without me having to explain myself. Few people understand this.

I, myself, don’t believe in what people call love at first sight.

Do you ever wonder what happens when we’re asleep? I read about this thing called “multiples effect,” where our thoughts interact within fields of consciousness floating around us. I wonder, what if dreamland was a place where all of us are connected? Like somewhere in there is a gateway to the minds of all the people we will meet in our lifetime. Maybe that’s how we experience deja vu.

And maybe that’s how, when we meet people in real life, we instantly feel that we’re going to like them, or not.

Sometimes when I wake up, I feel inexplicably at bliss, even if I only had a few hours of sleep. I would open my eyes and stare into nothingness for a minute, try to concentrate, but fail to remember what went on in my dream, if I actually had one. What if, in all these dreamless nights, our souls go to this one place – a place only meant for us?

This sounds insane, and maybe I am, but the more I get to know you, the more I feel like all my forgotten dreams are being pulled out from my subconscious and projected onto my waking life. This isn’t love at first sight; I am certain. I met you several times in my slumber, while I’m in my most naked state. And I have touched your soul as you have touched mine. That place in my imagination – the one my mind created for me – somewhere in there is a door leading to yours.

We have been letting each other in all this time.

Tonight as I go to sleep, I will try to count every good deed I’ve ever done to deserve this. I know I haven’t done enough. I will have never done enough for this privilege of meeting you in the flesh. Finally, I can feel the body and hold the face of the beautiful soul I have been seeing in my dreams.

And tomorrow, when I wake up feeling brand new, I will no longer wonder where I have been. The same place my seemingly dreamless nights are set: with you. You are, and you have always been, where I’m bound to. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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