For the most part, you’re a loving, loyal, supportive girlfriend because of course you are. Except when you’re feeling bitchy. We normally don’t advocate that because nice girls usually finish first, but here are 7 times when it’s totally appropriate and advised to summon your inner bitch. (And this guy agrees with me.)
1. Someone flirts with him in front of you.
I’ll never forget the time when I was out with a group of mutual friends and one of the guests continued to touch my then-boyfriend inappropriately and dance with him. IN FRONT OF ME. The result was a conflict that spiraled into a full social media feud, which would have been handily avoided had I just gone for the bitch move and told her off then and there.
2. He flirts with other women in front of you.
Men love to look at women, this we know. But when his occasional glance goes to actually pursuing or flirting with women in front of you, well, we’ve got a problem. Out of respect, he shouldn’t be making eyes at the waitress, trying to get another woman to go home with him or trying to get her number. If it looks like any of these thoughts are an end game, well, it’s not only time to let him know how you feel, it may also be time to get up and leave. Setting the tone in the relationship and making sure he knows what you will and won’t stand for is one of the best things you can do this type of situation.
3. He ignores your needs.
For instance, say you’re feeling under the weather and need a little extra TLC (or just someone to bring you cough drops.) If he suggests you do something for him in the moment when you need him the most, you can pretty much call it that he’s either really dim-witted or downright selfish. The individual situation will help you tell the difference, but if he’s asking you to run to the store for him – and you’re on crutches – a snarky comment is completely within your right.
4. He cancels plans at the last minute with no good reason.
My absolute pet peeve. Usually when someone cancels plans or refuses to set a firm date, it’s because they’ve found something “better” to do or they have a preference in how they want to spend time for you. (Determine which one it is before you’re a bitch.) If a guy is outright standing you up, tell him off and move on but if a guy is changing his plans with you at the last minute, it’s fine to be frustrated but NOT necessarily bitchy until it becomes a habit. For instance, I once wanted to go to an upscale dinner, but the guy I was seeing opted to hang out on the town with me instead. I can’t deny that his plan was more fun, but it still caused a little bit of disappointment because I wanted to have one-on-one time.
5. He lies about his relationship status.
This should go without saying but a man who lies cannot be trusted. And if you find that he’s lied about something important, like being married or in a committed relationship, then you have a major problem. Not only should you cut ties with him, you should feel free to give him a piece of your mind as you’re doing it. Keep in mind, his relationship omission is usually a ploy to reel you in to whatever screwed-up situation he has going on, but at the end of the day, you’re waaaay above being the other woman.
6. He doesn’t call, text or otherwise communicate when something is going on.
This is not only a classic sign that “he’s just not into you” anymore, but it also calls for a different kind of bitchy. When a guy doesn’t communicate when he’s late or makes major plans to go out of town/on vacation without even shooting you a text, you can either face it head-on and confront him or just disappear yourself for a little bit. The truth is, the bitchiest move is to be above the drama; an unbothered woman usually has her man panting after her.
7. He insults your appearance or worse – the kind of person you are.
There are usually “levels” of being insulted, none of which are great, but bear with me. A small dig at you or appearance can sometimes be a subtle hint or an affectionate tease, but if we’re talking about insults related to your past, appearance, your character or the type of woman you are, then it’s time to bring out the bitch. It may also be time for you to consider ending the relationship if it becomes habitual, particularly because it gives you a glimpse at whether the man you’re with genuinely respects you.
No matter what, remember that being bitchy isn’t always a negative thing. Just the same way as conflict can produce results and help you work your way through a recurring problem, showing that you’re not Little Miss Pushover when you’re being disrespected is a must. And if you find that you’ve got to be a bitch more than not, you may want to see yourself out.