5 Signs It’s Time To Let A Nice Guy Out Of The Friendzone
By Elle Bigel
I think we’ve all been guilty of this at some point ladies, locking a guy up in the place of no return: The Friend Zone. We all have that one guy who we swear up and down is “just our friend” and hey for some guys in our lives, they don’t mind the friend zone. But for the nice guy who is secretly (or not so secretly) crushing on you, it’s hell. Now sometimes these guys really do stay in our friend zone forever, but if you’re experiencing any of these signs, it may be time to let a nice guy out of your friend zone.
1. He’s been there through thick and thin (and expected nothing in return)
Bless the souls of the nice guys who reside in the friend zones of the world. I’ve always stood by the mantra there are only 3 men a girl needs in her life: Ben, Jerry, & Jose (Cuervo), but perhaps I should include the nice guy(s) of the friend zone on that list. After all, they are the ones who are literally there for every crazy irrational breakdown.
They are with you via text in the midst of your most embarrassing Ben & Jerry’s binge when you need someone to confide in, or to answer your nonsensical drunken phone calls when you’ve had one too many rounds with Jose. And the thing about it all is that they continually provide a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and some of the best advice whenever you need them WITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING IN RETURN. You never have any doubt that they genuinely care about you.
2. He’s spilled his guts to you and you get a feeling that resembles butterflies in your stomach
Now he may have spilled his guts to you several times (probably both drunk and sober). It’s probably been something like “I don’t know why you won’t give me a chance”, “You always tell me about the guys you’re with and they treat you so bad, I know I could treat you how you deserve to be treated”, or “You’re such a great girl…(insert all the reasons he gives you during the Ben & Jerry binges)”.
Maybe the first few times it happened you felt really bad and reminded him that he’s such a “great FRIEND” to you, but somewhere along the way you started to get that feeling that feels kind of like when you get butterflies in your stomach, and you’re not quite sure what to make of that feeling.
3. You have history, in a good way
You have history together in that you’ve been there for each other (see #1), and not that he’s cheated on you or been a jerk to you. He’s the one who remembers all those little details like your favorite flower, your favorite froyo shop or you’re the little things your most proud of, all the things you always wished the guys you dated would take notice of. He’s been there the whole time taking mental notes of it all.
And the imperfections too, he knows you’re an over thinker (probably better than anyone) and he knows you’re insecurities (probably almost all of them) and he because of this he knows how to support you and be there for you in a way that no one else can.
4. He tells it like it is
He’s honest with you. He doesn’t sugar coat things and you never have to wonder if he might be playing some kind of mind games with you (the kind of thing you’ve often had to worry about in your past relationships). When you ask him for advice he will tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear like so many guys out there, because remember he doesn’t expect anything from you and he’s not trying to get in your pants. He values you as a person.
5. You start get a feeling that resembles jealousy when he talks to you about another girl
You know exactly what I’m talking about. He’s talking to you asking for your advice like he always has and all of the sudden that little green monster comes out of nowhere and you’re thinking to yourself what could he possibly see in her (this may happen with a series of girls before you realize it’s jealousy you’re feeling).
It’s kind of like the times when he’s told you he could treat you how you deserve to be treated, the what ifs creep into your mind about how you could treat him. After a while you start thinking about the possibility of what it might be like if you were with him.
So instead of thinking about the possibility of being with him, and regretting it in the future if you never explore the possibility, tell him. Notice the signs around you and let a nice guy out of the dreaded friend zone, give him a chance and the results may exceed your wildest dreams.