Step 1: Cry.
Yes, you heard me. Let it all out. Grab some food, sit in a dark room and let it all pour out. But not forever. Cry for as long as you think they deserve. Whether that be 10 minutes, 2 hours or even 2 days. Only you can assess how many of your tears they are worth.
Step 2: Now stop Crying.
After deciding how long you are allowed to cry, put your timer on and do not allow yourself to exceed that. Your emotions are real and you should never deny them- acknowledge how you feel but do not let yourself wallow. After your allotted cry time, stop. Wash your face, have a shower, turn on the lights and stop crying, stop feeling sad.
Step 3: Be real with yourself.
So, we’re talking about rejection, not a break-up. Therefore, it’s most likely you didn’t date this person. So let’s get real. You were probably more infatuated with the idea of the person, then the actual person. I mean sure you knew them, but you never dated them, never held their hand or went on cute picnic dates- you just fantasised about doing those things. I get it, the fantasy can be hard to let go of, it can be hard to abandon your imaginary relationship. But it must be done and quick.
Step 4: Get rid of reminders.
This step is crucial. Delete their messages, hell- delete their number, unfollow them on Instagram and unfriend them on Facebook. You don’t want any reminders that are going to send you spiralling again, and you certainly do not want the temptation of messaging them.
Step 5: Delete them from your brain also.
This step will be hard. You may find yourself drifting back to memories or daydreaming about what-ifs. Stop. Just don’t. The what-ifs and possible scenarios will be hard to keep away from, especially at night. But you’re just torturing yourself if you do. Tell yourself over and over and over, until it’s burnt into your brain, that they are not interested. And until they sit you down and tell you to your face that they’ve changed their mind, everything else is irrelevant.
Step 6: Get motivated.
My favourite step of all- using this rejection to better yourself. I always like to throw myself into my school work, surround myself with friends, work on hobbies and skills, go to the gym, and in general work on being a better me. It’s not about changing yourself to be more likeable, it’s about honing in on yourself, appreciating yourself, and taking the time to do the things you love.
Step 7: Remember, you are truly amazing.
Sometimes when the people we like can’t appreciate us, it’s hard to appreciate ourselves. But through it all try to remind yourself that you are amazing, unique and beautiful, even if they don’t see it. Not everyone is able or even supposed to see your utter amazingness. But if everyone could see it, would it even be that special? Yes, it hurts now, but remember that you cannot control how they feel about you, but you can control how you react to the situation.
You are loved, more than you could ever know. And one day someone won’t reject you, they will accept you, they will pursue you, and love all that you are.