Kimye’s New Workout Plan, The 2014 Remix

You just popped in the Kimye Kardashian West
Get right for Paris workout tape.
And Kimmy, cos you followed these instructions exactly
You were able to pull you a rapper, a NFL player
Man, at least a dude who you married for 72 days!
So first of all we gon’ work on the stomach,
You balanced a champagne glass on your ass!

1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and get them squats right and
Tuck your tummy tight and do your lunges like this.
Take a selfie, text the fam, get up, check Instagram.
Post an outfit pic, looking all wild.
Pick up Nori and don’t disrespect your child.
It’s a party tonight and ooh, she’s so excited.
Tell me who’s invited: you, your friends, and Lord Disick.
What’s scary to me is contour makes girls look like Photoshop to me.
So excuse me, miss, I forgot your name.
Thank you, Yeezus bless, good night, I came.
I came, I came.

It’s been a week without me
And she feels weak without me.
She wanna tweet it out but
Ain’t nothin to tweet about unless
She tweets about freakin’ out so
Maybe we can blog it out
blog it out, blog it out
blog it out, blog it out
Maybe we could blog it out.

Oh girl, your silhouette makes me feel so hella #blessed.
My name’s Kanye from the Jigga set, let’s wear pjs on the private jet.
Ooh, girl, your critics COLD,
Gotta prove them wrong on the cover of VOGUE.
Off that market, yeah, I bought that ring
Ain’t no single lady like Beyonce sings.
We ain’t looking like the oldies, you Botoxing to a cold beat.
Maybe one day girl we can wed
So that Paris Hilton is dead to you now.
But I don’t got me a big girl, you’re 5’2 girl, you short, girl.
1 and you brought 2 sisters? OK, 3 more, now hop in the Benz
4-door do you know the difference between a 5, 6, 7, 8.
All those pumpkin lattes, you gotta do Pilates.
You gotta pop this tape in before you start back dating
Athletes, wannabes, all us ballers.

It’s been a week without me
And she feels weak without me.
She wanna tweet it out but
Ain’t nothin to tweet about unless
She tweets about freakin’ out so
Maybe we can squat it out
Squat it out, squat it out
Squat it out, squat it out.
Maybe we could squat it out.

Hi, may name is Khloe, I just want to say thanks to
Kimye’s workout plan, I was able to pull a NBA player
And like, now I shop every day on Rodeo Drive
I just want to say, thank you Kimye! woooo! woooo! woooo!

My name is Kimberly, and I just want to say
that ever since listenin’ to Kimye’s workout tape,
I was able to get my phone bill paid, I got sounds and 13s
put up in my Bentley and I was able to get a free trip to Punta Mita.
And what’s most importantly is that I ain’t gotta deal with Ray J’s broke ass no mo’.

My name is Kourtney from Calabasas, California
And I just want to say since listenin’ to Kimye’s workout tape
,
I been able to date outside the family, I got two kids

And I rode a plane, rode a plane, rode a plane.

Thanks to Kimye’s workout plan

I’m the envy of all my friends

See I pulled me a rapper man (yeah)

And I don’t gotta work for Paris Hilton again

That’s right, put in work, take a belfie, go berserk
Eat your salad, no dessert,
Get that rapper you deserve.
It’s Kimye’s workout plan.
I said, it’s Kimye’s workout plan
(Babies and Kardashians).
It’s Kimye’s workout plan.
(Allow us to introduce ourselves.)
Their woooorrrrkkoouut plan
(This time around, I want y’all to clap like this)
[x2, fade out] TC mark

featured image – Kim Kardashian / Instagram

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