25 TV Shows And What They Should Really Be Called
By Ella Ceron
1. Game Of Thrones: A Million Ways To Be Friendzoned (And Then Die) In Westeros
2. Downton Abbey: Not Yo Mama’s Period Drama, Son!
3. Literally Any Cable News Channel: 1 Hour Of News, 2 Hours Of Solid Analysis, 21 Hours Of People Yelling About The Analysis Because I Don’t Like Your Tone/Tie/Mother, Mister.
4. Shark Week: The Closest You And Your Girlfriend Will Ever Come To Discussing Her Period
5. Lost: Inception 2 — Malaysia Airlines Flight 370
6. The Bachelor/ette: Still More Action Than Your Love Life, TBH
7. The Hills: Watch 4 Promising Young Women Ruin Their Social Lives, Relationships, And Any Chance To Be Employable Ever Again
8. Real Housewives Of [___________]: Watch 4 Promising Women Ruin Their Social Lives, Relationships, And Any Chance Of Looking Youthful Ever Again
9. Scandal: You Will Never Look That Good Wearing White. Ever.
10. Mad Men: Would Reverting Back To Arcane Gender Norms And Acceptable Lung Cancer Be That Bad If We Also Get To Wear The Sweet, Sweet Clothes?
11. New Girl: Your Manic Pixie Dream Nightmare Live-In Girlfriend
12. Sex And The City: Pair The Inevitable 5 Hour Bingewatch With A 5 Hour Contemplation As To How In God’s Name She Could Afford That Wardrobe
13. Revenge: Scandal‘s Token White Friend
14. Girls: 100% What Your Mom Imagines Your Life In New York City Is Like. 0% What Your Life Is Actually Like, Starring Lena Dunham’s Boobs
15. Looking: The Working Title Of This Was Gurrrls But The Network Decided That Was Too Stereotypical
16. Duck Dynasty: Either The Literal Best Or The Absolute Worst Thing To Happen To TV And/Or The Country, Depending On Your Zip Code
17. Keeping Up With The Kardashians: Hate On Them All You Want But Rich And Pretty Is Still Rich And Pretty So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
18. Gossip Girl: Okay, Honey. Time To Wash Those PSL Stains Out Of Them Yoga Pants. (Chuck Bass Demands Better Of His Girlfriends)
19. Dance Moms: Your. Worst. Nightmare/Spirit Animal 4Ever
20. Catfish: Still Better Than Your OK Cupid Inbox, TBH
21. Shahs Of Sunset: Sort Of Like The Kardashians (The Same Way Forever 21 Is Sort Of Like The Designer Brands It Knocks Off SHAMELESSLY)
22. America’s Next Top Model: America’s Next Top Barista Who Tells Everyone She Once Starred On A Reality TV Show
23. Breaking Bad: Swinging Wildly Between Thinking Cooking Meth Would Be A Badass Job And A Total Life-Ruiner
24. Sportscenter: Your Bro Boyfriend’s Other Girlfriend
25. Grey’s Anatomy: So Help Me God If I Ever Have To Go To This Hospital For A Real Emergency, Amen (But If Your Doctor Actually Looks Like Jesse Williams, Does He Accept My Insurance?)