Thought Catalog

25 Music Artists And What Their Next Album Should Be Called

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1. Katy Perry: Boobs, Beats, Battlestar Galactica

2. Nicki Minaj: Butts, Beats, Battlestar Galactica

3. Maroon 5: Adam Levine & Friends

4. Drake: Make Fun Of My Lint Roller, ‘Degrassi’ Stint, Or Tender Nature All You Want, I’m Still A Freakin’ Millionaire

5. Lady Gaga: Remember When People Compared Me To Madonna?

6. Madonna: I Could Kill You With My Thigh Muscles, So Yeah, You’re Going To Buy This Album

7. One Direction: You’re Going To Sneak A Listen Of This On Spotify Private Session, Find Two Songs Catchy As Hell, And Hate Yourself For The Rest Of The Day

8. She & Him: Modcloth Presents: Hipster Doe-Eyed Night Terrors

9. Miley Cyrus: You Know What Rhymes With Chanel? Ratchet As Hell (And Proud Of It)

10. Ludacris: Greatest Hits: Songs By Other People On Which I’ve Dropped A Guest Verse

11. Mariah Carey: Still Riding High On The Fact That ‘Always Be My Baby’ Absolves Any Of My Current Brand Of Crazy

12. Jason Derulo: If I Use Subliminal Messaging To Make You Remember My Name, I’ll Be Famous So… Jasonnn Deruloooooooooooo!

13. 2 Chainz: Damn, Jason Derulo Stole My Idea

14. Kanye West: The Only Member Of The Kardashian Family Whose Fame You Can Actually Comprehend

15. Pitbull: Sadly, What Half Of America Thinks Of When They Hear The Term “Latino Music”

16. Britney Spears: Your Spin Instructor Is Going To Love The Everliving FUCK Out Of This

17. Backstreet Boys: The Fact That We’re Clinging To The ‘Boys’ Moniker Is As Sad As The Fact That You’re Clinging To The Days In Which We Were Actually Culturally Relevant

18. Taylor Swift: Your Future Ex-Girlfriend (Makes More Money Than You Ever Will)

19. Coldplay: Conscious Unsilencing

20. Pharrell: Greatest Hits: Songs Sung By Other People That I’ve Written/Produced

21. Justin Timberlake: If You Buy This Album, Maybe I’ll Reunite With The Rest Of *N Sync (JK, No I Won’t)

22. Jay-Z: Mr. Beyoncé

23. Kelly Rowland: I Used To Breathe The Same Air As Beyoncé, Love Me Please

24. Beyoncé: Clinton/Knowles-Carter For Co-Presidents 2016

25. Justin Bieber: Oh My God, Please Stop TC mark

featured image – TaylorSwiftVEVO/YouTube
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Poetry that will change you

This is for the women who are first to get naked, howl at the moon and jump into the sea. This is for the women who seek relentless joy; the ones who know how to laugh with their whole souls. The women who speak to strangers because they have no fear in their hearts. This is for the women who drink coffee at midnight and wine in the morning, and dare you to question it. This is for the women who throw down what they love, and don’t waste time following society’s pressures to exist behind a white picket fence. The women who create wildly, unbalanced, ferociously and in a blur at times. This — is for you.

“When Janne has a new poem written, I shut my life down to do nothing but read it, and then when I turn my life back on, everything is better.” — James Altucher

You’ve never read poetry like this before

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