We sat around a table in the little Thai apartment, the windows open letting humid air in and the lightning storm highlighting the skyline. Empty beer bottles and half smoked cigarettes are scattered all over the table and the room smells like whiskey and tobacco. Friendly talks turn into low conversations. The energy slows.
Hands on thighs, mouths so close you could kiss. Everybody is paired off because we all crave that deep human connection so much it doesn’t even matter who you’re with. Sober thoughts turn to drunken words that slur out like honey because it tastes so sweet to hear them out loud. They roll off your tongue in bitter sweetness, dripping back down your throat to soothe the burn of all that was wrong in the world before you were finally able to say them. One by one people begin to drop off. One stumbles home. One falls asleep on the floor. One stakes his claim to the porcelain. And you are left with three. The energy is cool in a bit of a chilly way, with electric intensity of something buzzing to pop, to ignite.
You stop talking for a moment to appreciate the silence. The buzzing finally ignites and you realize your heart is beating faster. It is you. You hear things that aren’t spoken and you see things that aren’t done, simply because you are finally paying attention. And, in this moment, you know. You know that this is exactly where you are supposed to be because every decision in your life has led you to this moment. You are here with these people for a reason. You are learning things you are meant to learn. You are experiencing things you are meant to experience.
Never doubt what is happening. It is all happening the way it should. Never doubt that this is all a part of some grand scheme you are meant to be a part of. You are meant to be here. Now. So be here. Now. It will all happen when it’s meant to happen, and even though that realization hurts, it’s the truth, and that’s what we have to live with. And, right now, in this little Thai apartment, you know that it is finally all coming together for you. I hope you know.