Ever wondered why some people just seem luckier in love than others?
For a long time I wondered what was so special about these people who just seemed to float from one amazing love affair to the next, with what seemed like very little effort.
What was it that they did differently?
After reading, studying, asking, and having some luck in love myself, I’ve pinpointed nine skills and traits that people who are lucky in love seem to cultivate.
Want to be lucky in love?
Here’s what to do:
1. Trust Your Gut
If your body is screaming “wrong,” listen to it. Do not talk yourself into liking someone that you don’t really like, but is “close enough.” I’ve talked about settling a lot— and sometimes it’s tempting to just stick with a mediocre relationship rather than being alone. If your gut says “no,” then the answer is no — as painful as that is.
2. Say Yes
Did you get invited to the symphony, bowling, an art museum? Say yes. Open up your social calendar. You never know where you might meet the person for you. It’s hard for fate to put the right person in front of you when you’re binge-watching Netflix. If you get invited to something by a friend, co-worker or acquaintance, just go.
3. Change Up Your Routine
Similar to saying yes to social engagements, switch up your daily routine.
People who are consistently lucky in love make sure that they get out of the house with regularity and make time for their hobbies and interests. If you go to the same coffee shop every day and the same places every weekend, make an effort to try new places and put yourself in front of new people. Simply changing where you go every day could make magic happen.
4. Practice Gratitude
Chances are, you have tons of things happening in your life right now to be thankful for. If you’re reading this with a roof over your head, you’re already ahead of the majority of the world’s population. There is always something to be thankful for, and your life will benefit hugely from a daily practice of acknowledging it.
People skim over mentions of gratitude, but appreciation is so important! In order to attract amazing people, circumstances and things into your life, you must appreciate what you already have. Maybe the right person hasn’t shown up yet, but you increase your chances of attracting them exponentially if you are thrilled about your life as it is already.
5. Modify Your Expectations
Often people’s expectations of what a mate and subsequent relationship should be like are completely out of whack.
Either they accept crumbs and should really raise their standards, or they are hoping to throw a lasso around the moon and are ultimately disappointed.
If you are consistently disappointed with your relationships, your expectations could be the culprit. Make an effort to emotionally open yourself up to people who aren’t exactly “your type.” Decide on a maximum of three to five internal traits that a lover should possess (kindness, integrity, etc.) and check the rest of your expectations at the door.
6. Fail Faster
Practice makes perfect when it comes to love and dating. Do whatever it takes to get yourself in front of more potential love interests. Try online dating. Try speed dating. Put yourself out there and meet more people. Dating and relationships are a skill that you can only improve by participation.
Often people don’t recognize that in order to meet the right person, you’re probably going to have to meet a lot of people who aren’t right for you first. Meeting more people has the dual benefit of helping you handle rejection better, which is incredibly valuable.
7. Self Confidence, Baby
People who are successful in love have a strong, solid sense of themselves. A big part of having successful relationships is possessing high self worth and knowing how you’d like to be treated in a relationship.
If you’re happy single or coupled-up, you are going to have a much easier time attracting love than someone who struggles with their identity when they aren’t a member of a couple.
High self confidence has the dual benefit of being highly attractive to others.
8. Stay in the Present
You know that heartbreak that leveled you?
Staying stuck will make it so much harder to find someone new because not only will you compare new partners to your failed relationship, but you’ll also be focused on what didn’t work out. Since what you resist persists, you’re only inviting more heartbreak. Do what you have to do to get over it and resolve to move on.
9. Maintain Your Passions
Often when people meet someone they are excited about, they start neglecting their hobbies, friends and passions.
While I realize it’s tempting to clear off your schedule for relationship-town once you meet someone new, don’t.
If you stop doing things you’re passionate about, you risk transferring all of that passion over to each new love interest. This puts a lot of pressure on the other person to be “your everything” and will throw the relationship dangerously off balance.
Don’t give in to the tendency to forgo balance for your new love affair. If you’re prone to this— or have in the past, make an effort to keep up your separate interests once you meet someone.
Additionally, your partner should respect that you have interests outside the relationship. If they don’t, it’s a sign of an unhealthy pairing.