1. You have a To-Do list that you are continually adding to, and never crossing things off of
Mine is on yellow post-it notes on my desk, right below my computer monitor. I started with one, and the list has now expanded to three. Also, I have five research papers in progress and I chose to write this article instead.
2. You’re always telling people about the class you want to take next summer, and then pray they never ask you about it again because it didn’t actually happen
I can’t even remember how many summer courses I’ve researched online, but never actually applied to. There is always something else that comes up, or something else you can spend that money on. And then the next thing you know, you’re telling people that you didn’t get accepted into the class, or the roster was full by the time you applied, even though the application ended up in the recycle bin.
3. You get so excited about a new hobby that you buy all the materials for it, and then they sit on a shelf in your closet for months
In fact, my crafting shelf turned into a crafting trunk, which expanded into a crafting corner, and will someday soon be a crafting room. Not because I need space to actually do all the crafts, but because I’ll need space to store all the stuff I bought but never used.
4. You talk about how much you want to meet “The One” but all your free time is spent on the couch in sweats watching Netflix
On weeknights my girlfriends will text me about happy hour, but I’m so tired from work that I don’t want to go out. When Friday rolls around I’m all ready to get cute and go out, but Grey’s Anatomy Season 83 just came on Netflix and I need to catch up.
5. You sign up for online dating sites because this time you’re taking it seriously
And you tell yourself, and your Mom, that you’re finally ready for a serious commitment, just as soon as the internet finds you your perfect match. So you come up with a checklist for the “perfect man,” and you go through countless profiles to decide who is going to be lucky enough to date you. But really, you never send any messages because shouldn’t that be someone else’s job? So you just sit around and wait for someone to message you.
6. You talk to tons of people on Tinder, OKCupid, or Plenty of Fish but never actually meet them.
You’re having an awesome conversation, with a guy who is witty and sarcastic, and actually spells out his words and uses punctuation. But then, he says the magic words: “So when can we meet?” and all of a sudden you’re super busy, and you don’t want to set a date, and “soon” is your answer to everything.
7. You set reminders on your phone to work out and eat healthy, but then dismiss them without changing anything
The CoachMe app is great for about 8 days, when you are actually doing the 10-minute workout videos every morning. But then you hit the 9th day and you kind of just want to sleep in, so you ignore the reminder and then never watch another video again.
8. You make commitments for “next month” or “next year” without hesitation, because you know you have time to cancel later if something comes up
Sure we can go to Thailand in August! Except, August rolls around and I forgot that I’m going to London in September so I probably shouldn’t spend money on Thailand. And then September rolls around and I forgot I’m going to Mexico in November so I shouldn’t spend money on London, etc.
9. You’re constantly talking about the super adorable rib tattoo you want on your ribs
All you need to do is have someone draw the exact design you want, because you can’t find the perfect image on Pinterest. Except, in order for someone to draw it for you, you’d have to ask them and you just never seem to get around to meeting with an artist. Plus, let’s be honest, do you even really want a rib tattoo? The little flower on your ankle only took 20 minutes and it was excruciating.
10. You’re the queen of “OMG we should get lunch soon!”
Which, let’s be honest, everyone knows is code for, “We are never having lunch…ever.”