It’s far from easy to love someone who keeps on shutting you out, only to come back and leave the door slightly ajar, just so you’d know that he has never completely closed it, that you can always come back inside, make yourself at home.
He won’t demand you to leave; he never admits it but he likes being with you. But his welcome wouldn’t be as warm; he never really figured out how to make someone feel at home when he himself had never understood what home meant.
It always feels like a tug of war against yourself. Should you stay? Should you leave? Your mind tells you to never return, but you know your heart has never left his side.
He is difficult to love, and you have bled over and over. Everyone tells you to just walk away. This is not worth breaking your heart over, they insist. A part of you believes that they’re right, and God knows how many times you have tried to just let go.
But the pain isn’t enough to break what you feel. You can’t just give up when you still believe that he is worth every bit of struggle.
They may never come to understand but you chose him. You chose to fall for him. And he is worth waiting for. If one day, he musters up the strength to figure things out and decide that it has never been you, he would still be worth it.
Perhaps this is love: when it feels worth it, and you have no regrets.