To the girl who won’t move on, because she’s afraid that there would be no one else, I beg of you, let go.
Stop chasing after a boy who can’t see your worth. He may have said all these beautiful things to you and maybe, at some point, there was a little truth in what he told you. But it’s over now, and you can’t keep clinging onto something that isn’t there anymore. No, you can’t keep asking him where it all went wrong, or what you did that sent him away. You have to understand that it isn’t always your fault.
It’s not that you’re not beautiful or good enough for him. It’s not that he likes someone else. Maybe he was right when he told you that he was bound to disappoint you, he would end up hurting you more, because he wasn’t ready to break down his own walls and let someone in. And you can’t keep trying to trespass and save him, because you will only end up breaking yourself. And you did break yourself, and now you’re struggling to put your pieces back together.
You can’t keep on trading your happiness for his. You deserve to be happy yourself. Stop listening to Ted Mosby say that love is when you care about someone beyond all rationality, no matter how much it destroys you. Giving up doesn’t make it some other disposable thing. But you have know if it’s still worth fighting for. And waiting for a boy can’t even figure out what he really wants, who’s afraid of letting someone see through him, who can’t even say if he really did love you–maybe it’s not worth fighting for anymore.
Maybe this is not love; this is self-torture. You shouldn’t put all the blame on yourself. Maybe the only wrong thing you did was that you you waited far too long. You let yourself suffer far too much. Kill the fantasy of him that he would find his way back to your house with a blue french horn. Someone else is out there, and you will find him. Or he will find you. However it turns out, I’m sure that there will be someone else.
And let me tell you that this will not be your last heartbreak. This will not be the last time you’ll doubt your worth and cry every night because someone made you fall in love and then left you out in the cold. This probably won’t even be the worst you’ll have to deal with. But you’re stronger than you think; you have to know that. You’re better than the girl who chose a boy over herself. You may never forget, but you will get over this.
There is so much more to this life than this boy who broke your heart for the very first time. You deserve someone certain of what he feels and is not afraid to let you know. You deserve someone who will make you realize that there is a right kind of love, the kind that won’t have to to be too complicated, that kind that just makes you feel safe and complete. So please, for yourself, take the world’s advice and move on.
Because giving up doesn’t mean that what you felt wasn’t real; it just means that you finally learned to choose yourself first, and is never a wrong thing. Someday, you’ll find someone with a yellow umbrella, and in that moment you’ll know, that moving on from your first heartache was one of the best decisions you’ve ever made.