It Must Be On Purpose

nedim chaabene
nedim chaabene

You do it on purpose, don’t you?

When you kiss my shoulder in the morning, you must know how sweet it feels.

When you tell me I’m beautiful, you must know how much it means to hear it coming from you.

Every time you switch your contacts out for glasses, you must know how I feel like I’m seeing this secret side of you.

Every time we watch an emotional movie, you must be aware of what parts make my heart swell, because you squeeze my hand when I need it the most.

You tickle me if you haven’t heard me laugh in a while. You kiss me right after you brush your teeth and your lips still taste like spearmint. You talk to me about books, time, the universe, and things that matter.

Surely, it must be on purpose.

But why?

Do you just need someone to hold when you’re lonely and want to feel connected to someone? Is it a game, and you just like to watch it happen? Am I your last resort after the girl you really wanted knocked you down? Or have you really changed, do you actually want something more, and you could possibly see it happening with me?

A year ago, we went on a walk. I didn’t bring a thick enough sweater, but I would have felt cold anyway. You were gentle when you told me you didn’t return my feelings, but I still went home and fell apart into sobs on the bathroom floor.

You’ve had it happen by accident. You know how it goes.

But if you make a girl fall in love on purpose, you better not break her heart on purpose. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I like running, yoga, rock climbing, and being vegan. I want to be an elementary school teacher and I listen to bands that no one’s ever heard of. I’d call myself a hippie, but I like Starbucks and glitzy jewelry too much for that.

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