Are unlabeled relationships just some kind of glorified make believe? A secret ploy to try and get over one another on the weekdays and then let it all go to shit on the weekends? It’s a constant jockeying back and forth between waking up alone feeling wild and free and waking up in the crook of an arm feeling sick to death for ever living without that sigh falling against your shoulder.
In theory, relationships should be easy: just two people who fit well with one another working to keep the puzzle together. Yet, it rarely ever works out so effortlessly. Mostly because we find ourselves mixed up in these “non-relationship” relationships full of ambiguity and being caught in between. It’s childish, really, like entering into someone else’s life with your fingers crossed–wink, wink, nothing counts.
Your friends have told you to walk away, and you haven’t listened. But you should listen to me when I tell you to, because I’m struggling through it too. Let them go; let them go for real. I promise my reasoning isn’t because it’s unhealthy, although, sure, that should be reason enough. And it’s not because you’re being a bit of a wreck loose, because, I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel so much as though it is wrecking me.
It’s just that these scenarios do not allow for ourselves to get properly mixed up with one another the way two people plotting a “together” should. We’re just two bodies shamelessly stuck in a perpetual present, no past or future to be accounted for. And, you know, bodies are overtly simple. They crave to be touched, caressed, and cared for. This bodily desire is easily confused with love, but isn’t love when two souls are the ones connecting and intertwining?
Maybe. Maybe it’s both.
The real reason that we have to let go, is because an imitation of love is pretty damn well near convincing. And if you’re not careful (read: if you’re human), you may find yourself fooled.
Until, of course, you innocently reach out to softly hold a hand and find their fingers have been crossed all along.