A couple of years ago, I was extremely ill. I suffered with a complex disease for nearly four years, and over the course of its duration I often questioned my faith.
Before that, I had spent the entirety of my life as a faithful and devoted Christian. I had a great relationship with God and He had blessed me greatly.
So when I got sick, it didn’t make any sense to me. Why would a loving God make me suffer?
I could no longer run, the one thing I loved most and was incredibly talented at. I couldn’t attend school full-time, so I rarely saw my friends. I couldn’t work or do any activities — all I could do was watch movies and nap.
I was always sick and I was always miserable. My mental health declined as my physical health did. I was withering away and I felt as though I’d lost my whole life. And I blamed God.
I yelled at Him and I stopped trusting Him. I know I’m not alone in this. Maybe you’ve gone through a divorce, had an especially bad breakup, suffered the loss of a friend or child or family member, watched your parents divorce, got a cancer diagnosis, or any number of things.
And if you’re a faith oriented person, there’s a good chance you questioned what God had to do with this. Why would a loving God do this to you, your brother, your child? Is He mad at you, is He punishing you?
The answer is no. God chose you to do this to you, yes, but for the right reasons — God knows you’re strong enough to handle it.
God tells us in 1 Peter: “You may have to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire- may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”
Anything we suffer in this world is worth it when we return to God’s Kingdom. When things get tough, it’s easy to give up on God, to stop praying and to blame Him for everything that’s going wrong.
But, when things get tough, that’s when we need God most. That’s when we have to work as hard as possible to stick by him, to maintain our faith and trust God’s reasons.
One of the most comforting things while I was sick was hearing God’s comforting voice through His Word, the Bible, and talking to Him in prayer when I was frustrated or upset or feeling hopeless.
It’s an incredibly hard process to fully trust God, especially in the midst of crisis. Take it step by step, day by day, and remember that God is always looking out for you, and He loves you.
Give Him a chance, say a prayer, and I promise you’ll feel better.