A Letter To My 14-Year-Old Self

You’ll get your first kiss, so calm down. It won’t be great, so stop daydreaming about it. Also, it’s not as easy as it looks, and you really don’t know what to do with your tongue, so please, to save yourself from embarrassment, just keep it in your mouth.

You’re not going to get into the college of your dreams, but don’t worry too much about it. You’re going to meet some pretty amazing people at the school you do end up going to, and it’ll make the rejection seem worth it in a way.

Prom sucks. You spent way too much money on a dress, your hair, your makeup, your ticket…all for some blurry pictures you never look at anyway. Enjoy your time with your friends instead of fighting about what couples will ride in which limo.

Sororities are not like the movies. I know you don’t like what you see based on TV and movies but you need to give it a chance. It’ll be one of the best decisions of your life and you’ll meet some pretty incredible girls.

Your first time will be perfect, but not in the way you’re thinking. It won’t be anything like in the movies. It won’t be fast and furious, you’re definitely not going to finish, and it won’t be all arching backs and orgasms. But it will be perfect because you’ll be with someone you love, trust and care about. And yeah, it’s okay to laugh. In fact, laughing is what kills any ounce of awkwardness.

Breakups suck, but everyone goes through them and you come out much stronger than when you went in and you take less shit. Sometimes, your perspective shifts and you start to see life differently. Take that new perspective and run with it. It’ll feel like breathing crisp, fresh air after years of suffocating in a room that’s always just a little too hot.

There’s no such thing as “being too big” for a condom. That’s it; that’s all you need to know about that.

Stop hating yourself. Oh my god, just stop. Stop worrying about not being skinny enough, stop worrying about wearing all the “right” brands and stop trying to fit in. You’re brewing self-hate that will take you years to break down, and it’s not worth it. Find the people who love you for who you are—they exist, I promise.

No, you don’t care about the Jonas Brothers anymore. Sorry. You took all the posters down eventually. Nick Jonas got extremely hot, though. You still enjoy looking at him, so don’t stress the loss too much.

Being drunk is actually pretty cool, and yeah, you will drink, so you need to lower your nose a little, because your goody-two-shoes attitude is pretty annoying. Drugs are interesting, but don’t do them too much. They can really fuck a person up.

You’ll make connections with people you’d never expect. They’ll fill holes in your life you didn’t even know existed instantly. These people will feel like home—you’ll wonder how you survived without them for so long. Hold on to these people; there’s nothing more amazing than the feeling of being completed by a platonic friend.

And speaking of platonic friends—you don’t need a boyfriend to be happy. There is such a thing as getting the emotional support you need from your friends and only your friends. You will find people that will be better for you than any boyfriend you could have ever asked for.

Yes, you got your license. On your second try. Sorry, kiddo.

You still like writing as much as you do now, and you’re even better at it then you can possibly imagine. Now you let other people read what you write and you’re proud of your talent. Keep filling your notebooks; one day you’ll love to go back through them all.

Do the things that scare you. You’ll learn more that way, and you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did do.

Yes, mom is still your best friend. I don’t think that’ll ever change, though. Just keep thanking God that you have a “cool” mom, because not everyone is so lucky, which you’ll soon learn.

Jesus Christ, please calm down about not having a boyfriend. Yes, you’ll get boobs eventually. No, wearing a bra everyday does not get any less annoying. Shut up, your acne isn’t even that bad. Stop worrying about each and every little thing, because eventually, life will work itself out—trust me.

You’re 14. Worry about the Jonas Brothers some more instead, please.