This Is Exactly Why Modern Dating Feels So Impossible

Tiko Giorgadze

There are too many people in the modern dating world who seem to be relationship-handicapped and confused. I can’t even comfortably call these things relationships.

Situation-ships? Almost-relationships? Friends with benefits? Talking? Whatever the heck you want to call it—it’s a situation that allows the spineless to run free.

I understand what we were trying to do but we failed. As millennials, we didn’t want to live in the oppressed ideology of the 1950s that suggests everyone should get married right out of high school and call it quits. I get it—I really do. But can we honestly say that the dating phenomenon that we have cultivated is any better? Is it truly any less captive?

People tweet their feelings instead of talking about them. Instagram Models and Kylie Jenner are the new standards for beauty. You can even date through apps now. We shop online for people the same way we shop for sweaters. Everything is instantaneous thus everything is meaningless. We approach relationships with detachment and a “what can you do for me?” attitude.

Prior to technology we were not accessible to each other. Falling in love with someone wasn’t a bad thing and there were no DMS for your boyfriend to slide into when you weren’t looking. Instagram and dating apps aren’t the blame either. It’s us.

I’ll admit that I have actively contributed to the problem. I had Tinder. I have gone on dates with no intention of anything more than free food. I’ve slept with people I didn’t want to date.

And that isn’t the issue—free sexuality should be celebrated. The issue is the fact even when I was honest about my intentions, people didn’t seem to mind because at least they sort of had me. These people wanted more and accepted less, hoping that eventually I would change my mind. I’m guilty of treating people who liked me with little respect simply because they allowed it. Is this my fault or theirs?

I think it’s everyone’s problem.

I am pointing out my own faults because nobody else ever has. Nobody ever said, “Hey you know what Elise, I don’t want to accept less. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” Nope. It did not happen and you know why? This is behavior is currently acceptable in our dating market.

You can treat people as if they are disposable and a good chunk of them will let you. We have glorified the term “F**k Boy” and think that it’s just a joke used for memes. In reality it has become part of a crumbling standard for both men and women.

Expecting accountability for the way you are treated will have you deemed as “crazy” by your peers. It’s a problem that could be solved if we would stop glorifying the dating genre that supports emotional negligence. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer. Artist. Runner. Winner. Winner. Chicken Dinner.

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