1. You’re not checking in to see how they’re doing, you’re checking in to see if their relationship has hit rock bottom yet.
2. Don’t disguise weakness for strength. It’s not the chase and do not say that’s why you do it. You have low self-esteem and clear commitment issues. Otherwise, you would be going after someone who was 100% available to you. Simple. As. That.
3. You don’t genuinely want to “meet their girlfriend/boyfriend” or “double date” with them. Or any other bullshit excuse idea you can think of in order to get this couple into a room with you. You want a chance to play the comparison game.
4. More than likely, their significant other has done nothing to you to deserve this level of disrespect. It doesn’t matter if they gripe to you all day every day about how awful their partner is. You aren’t in their relationship. You should know that no one really knows what goes on between two humans more than those two humans. So if you take it upon yourself to do what YOU feel like doing regardless of knowing that, then that makes you shitty. I don’t care what you think your justification is.
5. Just because you knew them first, were fucking them first, or liked them first, doesn’t make them yours. Whether you like it or not, they didn’t choose you. Whatever history you think you have that validates your behavior is irrelevant. Do you want to know why? Because if all of that time sincerely mattered to them—if YOU sincerely mattered to them, then you would be their significant other. If someone really wants you then you will be his or hers, not a text at 3am on a weeknight or some hidden Tumblr message.
6. You’re honestly selling yourself short. Nobody deserves to be cheated on and honestly, nobody deserves to be the side chick/dick. Both ends are shitty for people.
7. Say somehow they do pick you in the end. Are you ever really going to have trust in that relationship? If someone cheats with you (whether it be emotionally or physically,) they will/can cheat on you. And if you think that the universe doesn’t operate on some sort of balancing system then you’re an idiot.
8. Self Reflection needs to be a thing in your life. You need to feel guilty about this and if you don’t? Analyze yourself. Seeking confirmation from a source that shouldn’t be providing it is so detrimental to your self-worth and you should give a shit about that.
9. It doesn’t matter if this person isn’t married. That doesn’t make it fair game and that doesn’t mean you’re not a dick.
10. There’s a reason that you’re a person and not an animal. This isn’t the goddamn jungle where everyone’s running around just looking to reproduce. Human beings are more complex and that should be celebrated not avoided. Your behavior cannot be blamed on something like primal instincts.
11. Feelings are not facts and people are not medicine. Just because you want or love someone, does not make him or her yours.