12 People Reveal The Dramatic Details Of Their Messiest Breakup Ever

Drew Wilson
Drew Wilson

1. This girl passed me a note and was like “Want to be my boyfriend?” or something. I drew her a picture in response basically going like “No, go eat a dick.” And she was like “WELL I DIDNT WANT TO DATE YOU ANYWAYS!” She’s actually really pretty now. But she removed me on Facebook sooooo.”

— Mike, 22

2. “Although, I still to this day don’t know if I was actually dating this girl. She told everyone I was but I was just like ‘whatever’ about it. OK so basically after a couple months of her telling everyone I was her boyfriend and I (not wanting to hurt her feelings) just went along with it, but I had hardly talked to her. Well one day she started telling everyone I had gotten her a ring she was wearing because I wanted to marry her and that’s where ‘little’ me drew the line. And I was just like “Naw, I didn’t get her that and I want to break up ‘cause I don’t like you lying to everyone,” and she started crying and I felt really bad.”

— Randy, 22

3. “Well. There was one guy before Blaine but he was dumbed in a shitty way because I liked Blaine more. I just told him I didn’t want to be with him anymore. And started to be cold because Blaine and I exchanged numbers at lunch, began texting for a few days and finally hung out once before I decided ‘Yup, leaving him for you.’ Just once and I decided ‘Yup you have more potential and you’re way hotter’ and he made the signature on his text messages this long poem about begging someone to return his angel back to him. Which creeped me out more. And he was texting Blaine asking him to talk to me as a wing man, not knowing Blaine was the reason.”

— Jessica, 21

4. “Well like I’ve gotten broken up with in a note, and she never talked to me again. One day before class she gave me a note and I read it in class, Said some shit about not wanting to be in a relationship and I tried to talk to her after class and she COMPLETELY avoided me. Keep in mind we also went to the same high school. So anytime I saw her in the halls after that she would like duck her head down and walk off quick as fuck. And that was that.”

— Scott, 25

5. “Freshmen year a girl dumped me using the same fucking valentines letter that I gave her because she was too afraid to tell me in person…and I’m all, ‘What’s wrong with my card?’ She was like, ‘Its not the card that’s the problem, is you, bye.’ That bitch.”

— Jonathan, 24

6. “Ok, so I dated this one chick called Cindy. This chick was twice my height. She was very very tall (I felt I had to mention this) but I was going out with her, things where great. I really liked her. There was one small group of dudes at school I didn’t get along with that great.

One day one of those guys came up to me and said, “Your girlfriend is my girlfriend now.” I kinda shrugged it off, not thinking much of it. So as I continue about my day as a busy student, I finally see my (then) girlfriend. She hugs me and says, “Carlos says I’m his girlfriend now” and just takes off running.”

— Luis, 21

7. “Alright so I met this guy through a best friend, whose husband just happens to be best friends with him. I met him; we spent some time together and fooled around. It was fun I won’t lie. He was almost twice my age, so I expected at least some degree of maturity and self-confidence, but I’m not one to force my expectations onto others like that. Fast forward to my best friends birthday, she’s turning 21. We had a nice dinner at a fancy Mexican restaurant; all of her lifelong friends were there. Then there’s me, sitting at the end of the table with my seemingly self-sustaining boyfriend who hasn’t said a word.

Right before this dinner even happened he texted me saying ‘Sorry if I act weird tonight.’

Huh?

‘What are you talking about?’ I said.

‘If I don’t hold your hand or anything like that, just don’t take it personally.’

Here I was, happy as can be until I realized that my boyfriend HAD failed to inform me that he isn’t out to anyone besides me and his best friend. Look, I get it. I lived in the closet for years before I came out. But there’s a big difference between hiding yourself from others and inviting someone else into your personal dilemma while expecting them to simply accept your lack of self-confidence in who you are.

He seriously expected me to be ok with being dragged down? I left the closet in the first place because I knew I didn’t belong there. We broke up shortly after that night. Things just didn’t feel the same. Pretending to be something you’re not is dishonest and undermines the integrity of the relationship you’re in with someone else. It just isn’t fair. OKAY DONE.”

— Brandon, 21

8. “Broke up with a girl in the seventh grade. We both liked rocks, like the crystal Quartz. So I wrote with sharpie on one “I’m breaking up with you and put my initials on he bottom.” And left it on the desk.”

— Daniel, 28

9. “I had a girlfriend, Maddie, she broke up with me because I didn’t hold her hand enough.”

— Michael, 21

10. “Oh okay 4th grade a girl liked me and asked me out and I said yes and then my friend told me he liked her so I turned back to her and said hey my friend likes you too you can date him instead and then she turned to him and asked him.

And another one…

Okay so in 6th grade I dated Noelle for like a week because it was at the end of the school year. She gave me her number and then I lost it so I couldn’t get in touch with her, at the end of the summer I remember I was hanging out with Annie and I told her how i lost her number and she slapped me across the face! I was really shocked but it was really funny to me cause something like that never happened before. I didn’t know about daring then I was just like these things seemed superficial since it was just middle school.”

— Daniel, 23

11. “Not going to name names, just to keep it a mystery! I “went out with” this cute little footballer. I don’t remember exactly how long we went out for, but it was a good 2 or 3 months. The relationship came to its fateful end when one week, he got a pimple on his nose. I shrugged. It was whatever; I didn’t have perfect skin and it made me admire him because he wasn’t embarrassed about it. Until he was.

He picked at it constantly, and by the end of the week it was his entire nose. It bled every now and then, and even had puss coming out of it. It got to the point where any time he went to kiss me on the cheek, I would push him away and act like I was playing hard to get. Yeah, I’m a petty bitch. But I wasn’t mean! I think I just said something along the lines “it’s run its course”.

I’m pretty sure that’s where it ended. To this day my parents rag on me for breaking up with him about that even though he was so sweet to me; THEY EVEN HAVE A PHRASE THEY SAY IN HIS HONOR. But obviously things worked out 10 years later. He’s married and I have Sam, so life’s good!”

— Noelle, 21

12. “Funny break up story: was dating this guy, everything’s going good… But then he won’t stop trying to serenade me (like all the time) and trying to change the subject never worked. It starts getting really creepy so I try to cut things off, but he doesn’t get the hint. Had to flat out tell him he was so annoying he reminded me of my little sister.

For real though, he would sing to me like 24/7, no matter how hard I tried to get him to stop. It got so bad I found myself turning the volume down on my computer when we would Skype so i didn’t have to hear him. And he knew how nuts Katelyn drove me. So it was an eye opener.”

— Courtney, 22

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