I’ve never had much success when it comes to relationships, but the last one was different, I actually began to believe it might go the distance. There were obstacles, of course, but I had trust, I was happy and despite the challenges, I was ready to give it my all. So when I found out that he wasn’t I was heartbroken. It kicked me down in a way that I haven’t been before, caught me off-guard and threw me straight into a pit of self- doubt and insecurity.
To everyone else who is in my position, the late-twenties or somewhere in their thirties singletons who are beginning to wonder when it will ever be their time to be happy, the ones who feel forever lonely, remember these things before you start stockpiling cats for your ‘alternative’ old age.
1. You are not the only one. There are plenty of others in your position, so if you feel like all your friends are settling down and you are constantly third-wheeling, then find some more (single) friends and carry on living.
2. Your time has not run out. PLENTY of people find their forever person in their thirties, forties and even later in life, so don’t think that time has run out just because some of your friends are already married/engaged/pregnant with a life plan set out by 24.
3. You are not the first and you will not be the last. There have been people before you who have overcome this and there will be people later, stop feeling like you are the victim, you are not a victim, it is just not yet your time and place.
4. It will work out when it is meant to. Fate, fortune or whatever you wish to believe in, bottom line, you won’t end up with them if it is not meant to work out, so hold tight and be patient whilst you wait for the right person to come along.
5. When it does happen, it will have been worth the wait. You will be stronger and more independent from your time spent alone and you will be ready to embrace the relationship when the right person turns up.
6. You might even miss the single life when you no longer have it. So embrace it and enjoy the freedom of being able to fly to Rome tomorrow without consulting anyone, let your hair down and spend time figuring out who you are whilst you can.
7. You have time to work out what you really want. So many people rush into relationships because they struggle with being alone, winding themselves up heartbroken too many times and trundling from one failed relationship to the next. By spending some time alone you will really understand what you want to get from the relationship and who is right for you, making your relationships stronger in the long run.
8. You are enough, you are 100% perfectly you and that is all you need to be. Don’t change, don’t try to be something else, don’t feel that you are not worthy. You are exactly who you are meant to be so continue being you and trust the universe to work the rest out for you when it is good and ready to.
9. Lastly, don’t stop believing that the right person will come along. Don’t give up hope, don’t stop dreaming of the perfect partner, because there is someone out there for everyone and you will find them when the time is right, so don’t give up hope!