5 Things I Learned From A 5 Year Relationship
By Elena Haf
So we have all been there, crying our eyes out over our third pot of Ben and Jerrys’ and on our fifth consecutive watch through of Bridget Jones’ Diary after a particularly heavy break up. Its tough. It’s one of the hardest things we go through in life. We think that this is now life as we know it and It’s all over, but guess what? It most certainly isn’t!
After coming from a 5 year relationship that spanned my entire university years and beyond – here is what I learned.
1. This is not the end.
After he walked out on me on Boxing Day declaring he couldn’t ‘do this anymore’ – I thought the world had come crashing down on me and I was left there as a puddle of nothing. I very rightly thought that it was the end.
You might have put all your soul and energy in making this young relationship work – built a world for yourself. All this is a great thing. If you can bloody hell do that then you can do anything. You’ve proven to yourself that you are capable of so many things, what’s to stop you from doing it again but with the right person this time. It might take you a few tries but you will get there. You will find that person that is ready to go through all this with you, for you.
So pick up those little bits of heart you lost and find you again.
2. You will not be forever alone.
Don’t be so stupid. Get your friends, dress up, go out, get pissed and get noticed for the first time in years.
Trust me it feels amazing!
3. Friends and family are there for you.
They are there. In time you will find out who the right friends are but for now, just enjoy being with the people that make you laugh. These people are your saviours.
They alone love you for who you are. These are the people that have stuck with you through every stupid thing you’ve ever done. Enjoy this time with them.
4. You are just as important as anyone else.
Don’t sell yourself short. Stop believing in silly happily ever afters – because at the end of the day after they get married they have so much more shit to go through and that is what makes a relationship.
You must find who you are before you let anyone else into your world. And if they don’t like it – well tough, this is who you are and you are proud. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
5. People will try to stop your fun.
I don’t mean this in a bad way. They look out for you. They think they know best. They might do or they might not. You are the only one that directs your life. No one else. If you want to kiss random guys at bars or sit in a darkened room doing nothing all day then do it (As long as its only every now and again – don’t go too crazy now).
They might not realise this at first because they are worried about you and care for you, but what they don’t realise is that you have missed out on doing silly stupid things for so long that now is the time to let your hair down. Get it out of your system and move on.
Finally, don’t worry – you’ll be fine!