As someone who has suffered from anxiety and depression, trusting people has been very hard to achieve. However it’s also something that has improved my quality of life tenfold.
I used to think the whole world was against me. I thought everyone around me was talking shit behind my back. It didn’t matter who it was: my parents, my siblings, my closest friends, even my teachers. The paranoia was real. If I said one wrong thing or was too dramatic, they would all be talking about how annoying I was.
As my social anxiety faded throughout my recovery, a new form of distrust formed. I felt like everyone had an ulterior motive. I was convinced that a close friend was judging me for traveling, so I completely stopped talking to her.
Then I made a list. I made a list of everything in my life that I felt was holding me back from achieving true happiness. What was at the top of the list? Lack of trust. So i started to push myself. I challenged me thoughts.
After thinking long and hard about it, I realized it wasn’t true that my family was talking about me behind my back. My closest friends weren’t really bitter with me. So I let people in again.
I was free to talk about my true feelings and the results were amazing. My friends and family seemed so happy that I let them in again. I showed them the real me. Not the paranoid Elena who hid everything from them out of a fear of being judged.
If you suffer from anxiety or depression, it’s easy to get these thoughts in your head. Thoughts like, “everyone hates me,” or “I’m super annoying.”
But think about it like this, if you found someone super annoying would you be spending so much time with them? Probably not. We chose who we surround ourselves with. Your friends chose you.
You can trust your family. If you’re acting weird, they will tell you. They will help you work on it.
So let people back into your life. Trust that people have your best interest at heart. Of course, you can’t be liked by everyone. But the people who chose to be around you genuinely care about you. Believe me, but believe in yourself more.