Every day on the news, we are bombarded with stories of mass shootings, disease, war, and other instances of death. As much as we try to ignore it, death is very much present in our lives.
I’ve lived abroad for the most part of the past few years, in Europe and the Middle East, and sometimes after talking to my family on the phone, I feel stressed. A part of me feels worried that this could have been the last time I spoke to them.
In this past year alone, dozens of kids have gone to school and it was the last thing they did. I’ve had friends whose parents have recently died of cancer and one whose sister was in a horrible car accident.
Being so far away from my family has taken a toll on me and when I fly out of LAX, a part of me is genuinely concerned that I might not see one of my family members again.
I know a lot of this has to do with my thought process. I have experienced anxiety and depression, which leads to paranoia. But the threat is still very much real.
For my New Years resolution, I’ve promised myself to be much more vocal about my affection for my family. I call them more, ask them about themselves rather than talking only about me, and tell them I love them constantly. I’ve made an effort to be more present in their lives.
I have various group chats with my family and most of our texts all end with “I love you.” I think my vocalization of my emotions has subconsciously spread to the rest of my family.
This feeling of a looming disaster can be very painful. I push through it, and so should you, for the sake of your family and friends. I promised myself that if God forbid, something horrible were to happen to someone I love, that I can be certain they knew how I felt about them. I want to be certain that they know I love them.