To The Boy Who Broke My Heart,
I know I could’ve been there for you. I know you wanted to be with me. I was too insecure to imagine that a boy like you could love a girl like me. So I shut you out, thinking it was too painful to be around you. I know it’s my fault that it didn’t work out and I also know that if I had only done a few things differently, maybe we could’ve been together. You broke my heart, but I know I broke yours too. So when you moved on, for the sake of your soul, I understood.
But when I realized what I had done, a part of me died. I cried after you for song long after. I spent too long in the front pillars of the cathedrals of Rome, praying that you would love me back. I watched as you found someone new and fell in love.
That was the purest form of pain. I had been creating scenarios in my head of a world where we were together. They were nothing more than fantasies.
Even months after I last saw you, I couldn’t find myself to love again or hear those songs the same. It was only in my dreams that I could hear you say my name.
I thought I knew what heartache felt like, but this was something new. Maybe the greatest tragedy of my life would be that I wasn’t loved by you.
But here I am on the anniversary of the worst heartbreak of my life, somehow feeling peaceful. I’m done crying. I’m done praying. I was holding myself back by holding onto you.
The time has come when I let you go. Thank you for the memories. I will always remember you. But for the sake of myself, I release you.