I have waited for you. I must admit that there were parts that I wanted to skip and so eager to tear, but I didn’t, for I know that whatever happened in those previous pages will later serve its purpose in due time. Thus, I am here now marveling at the blank new pages waiting to be written.
I know there are so many things in store for me, a ton of lessons, a handful of twists and turns, or maybe none of the things I’ve wished for, but possibly a time where my dreams will finally come to life. There’s no absolute certainty but I am placing my hopes at the feet of endless possibilities that maybe,
it could happen.
I want to plummet from the sky and dive into you head first, with no apprehension for the unknown. This is a brand new chapter of my journey; I might as well take on life fearlessly. I’ve spent half of my lifetime wasting away wishing that life would be kind. But it doesn’t work that way, you can’t even promise that. Every time I think I got my life all figured out, armed with the experiences and lessons I’ve learned from the past, you easily turn things around move me in a different direction, and that’s your job, to unpredictably change things in the belief that I can make it.
With arms wide open, I will embrace you with everything that you have to offer.
I’m ready for life to hit me hard, to be knocked down, having my knees bruised and acquiring a whole set of new scars. I’m all set for the battles I may face, even the ones that I’m not prepared for. The heavy downpour of disappointments and the flood of failures will provoke me to accept defeat, but mind you that I didn’t get to here just to accept that, hearts like mine weren’t built overnight. I am strong enough to bear any kind of pain you may bring.
If only my pillows could speak, they’d tell you all the prayers I’ve said, all the dreams I’ve dreamt and all the fears that I have suppressed. You might say I’m assuming the worst in you. I’m quite the realist. It might be because I’ve grown to appreciate life by expecting less from it, that way I’d be surprised with the great things it has for me.
I want to be able to value every waking moment of being alive, being in the present, and being here now. I want to wake up every morning blinded by the rays of sunlight, reminding me that there are beautiful things to look forward to. I want to be accepting of change and being that change in whatever form that may be. I want to continuously make an effort in reinventing myself, with an outright intention of committing to progress. I want to be able to see myself through and reintroduce myself to an indefinite version in the end.
So from this day forward,
There are no promises here, just surprises.