*Time heals all wounds *
Time really does. One day you will look back on this day and think “life really sucked right then, but look how much better life has gotten”. As long as you make positive improvements or at least put forward honest effort towards positive improvements then you will heal and life will become better and much easier. Time will make life easier. But the other steps will make time easier.
This is free advice from someone on a website who you don’t know. I just want to say that I’ve been there. And even though I don’t know you personally I just want you to know that I truly do love and care for you. Because life is hard and sometimes we get dealt a bad hand. I know your pain and I acknowledge that it is real. Be strong and keep going. You put good in and you get good out. Take care, our thoughts and prayers be with you.
I found a lot of things to do to keep my mind and body busy. The less time I had to think about things, the less miserable I was. I added more shifts at work, did more volunteer work, and made more plans to go do enjoyable or entertaining things.
My apartment was a major source of misery because I lived alone and would dwell on the relationship and breakup. So I started being home only to sleep, bathe, and change clothes. I left early and came back late. I started going to other parts of the city and even suburbs and nearby towns to keep me from always being around places that had memories.
Also, my friends all meant well, but they couldn’t help but constantly remind me about my ex, the relationship, and our breakup by trying to help me get over it. I didn’t want to get over it, I just wanted to move on. I didn’t completely ditch my friends but started doing things with new people for a change of pace. People who didn’t know my history with my ex and I could just forget about him with.
Go out with friends and family, try and keep your self busy time spent doing nothing just lets you think about it more. Start a new hobby or sport.
“Success is the best revenge”
Went out and had the summer of my life. Hung out with friends I would rarely see before, played guitar all the time, went back to school. Right when things seemed so low because I got laid off and my ex left, I vowed to just have an awesome time and eventually the good things rolled in again.
“Always upgrade” was a phrase I took to heart. It takes time, but don’t settle for less. Work out, improve your self, and ultimately score an even better partner.
From one day telling me she loves me, to breaking contact entirely. No goodbye, nothing said. Blocked number, blocked Skype, no more words. Not even an “I’m sorry, I can’t.”.. Nothing.
The sheer lack of closure tore me apart. At times, it’s still maddening that someone could say they loved me, then turn around and treat me like garbage.
If you ever do this to someone.. seriously, fuck you.
In other words.. I’m mostly over it now. It’s still hard, because I thought she could actually be the one. Now I’m just kind of.. in stasis. Lots of physical relationships. No emotional ones. Can’t trust them.
I bought a harvest moon game, played it for a month on my DS and it actually helped me lessen the pain I felt from the bad break up.
My “rebound” ended up being the love of my life after my horrible break up. 4.5 years together so far :)
No contact whatsoever. Unfriended her on FB, deleted and blocked her number on my phone, and none of the “let’s be friends” bullshit either. Any communication just slows recovery. Learn what you can from the experience and move forward, it’ll get better soon.
It’s been about 3 months and i’m still getting over it, but staying busy has been the best way!! Working out, doing the hobbies I love (writing music primarily), hanging with friends, shit like that. There’s unfortunately no cure other than time.
Some days will be great and some will be shit, but you’ll eventually get over it, in a month you’ll look back at where you are now and think “wow look how far i’ve come since then” and you’ll be really proud of yourself. It’s a process but it does eventually get better and you return to your normal self again.
I hopped on a motorcycle and rode 6700+ miles across the American west in 3 weeks. By day 2 I had fallen in love with all the mountains and scenery around Colorado and Wyoming. It was just a daily affirmation that there was so many better things on this earth than just one person.
I rode down the Pacific coast highway, and by the time I got to Pismo Beach, I pretty much forgot about her. It was a wonderful way to heal.
The most common advice is really the best in this scenario: keep busy, focus on self-improvement, find some new hobbies, make new friends, etc. Basically just do anything except sit around and dwell on what happened. Reflection is an important part of healing but it’s extremely easy to overdo it after a traumatic event.
For me the one thing that really helped the most was working out. I was in terrible physical shape when my girlfriend left me (this was unrelated to the breakup, she was actually into big guys a lot) so I decided that I would get into better shape. I spent a lot of time educating myself about nutrition and exercise and then put that knowledge into practice. It gave me something other than my ex to read and think about, which was a huge help.
One day I woke up and looked at my sorry ass in the mirror, and decided to quit being selfish and upset that the relationship didn’t go anywhere close to how I wanted it to be. That’s ultimately what it comes down to. No matter what you think you know about someone, you can never truly know what they are thinking, and sometimes it blindsides you. You can’t control it.
Date… Alot, it’ll pass. Keep reminding yourself that the ex isn’t as bothered by it as you are. Hang out with friends as much as possible, try to make new friends but don’t talk about the ex with them, you’ll bore them and drive them away, especially if they were mutual friends.
I found there is a moment you just realise it’s time to move on after the breakup. I started new hobbies, revisited old ones. Went out with old friends and made new ones.
Long story short: do whatever makes you happy.
Got depressed for 3/4 months after a relatively hard break-up. What really helped me is reading philosophy books. I would try and fill my brain so hard that in the end I couldn’t think about this girl anymore. It didn’t end up working, but I learnt a shit ton of things about life and love that in the end I got over it pretty easily. I still think about in from times to times, but more with nostalgia than sadness.
Just realize that deep down, it wasn’t the other person but how they made you feel about yourself that you miss.