He decided to see other women but forgot to tell me about it.
We’re Pakistani (I’m in Canada, she is in Pakistan), so it was pretty much ‘arranged’. Her brother and I became really good friends. Three months after we were engaged he messaged me: ‘You’re a really nice guy so I can’t let my sister hurt you like that. Once she comes to Canada she’s planning on divorcing and leaving you.’
Needless to say, I was pretty shocked. I didn’t reply or say anything to anyone until I was sure what was going on; that’s a pretty heavy accusation to make. The next day her mom contacted us and said, they decided to call it all off. I messaged her brother and he said his sister accidentally let it slip during dinner the previous night.
Why are you looking at that girl? Do you like her? Do you want to sleep with her? Why did you pick this line at McDonalds, is it because the cashier is prettier than the other ones? Do you want to sleep with her? Why did that girl at work give you a stick of gum? Does she like you? Does she want to sleep with you? Do you want to sleep with her?
Why aren’t you into this? Are you sleeping around? Do you like my sister? Do you want to sleep with my sister? Did you pick this movie because you like the actress? Is she hotter than me? What would you do if you were in a hottub and that actress tore off her clothes and got in with you, what would you do? Would you push her away? How can you sleep when our relationship is this way? Don’t you care about me? etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum…
Typical came home early from work, found her fucking some other dude in our bed.
Because she couldn’t drive due to a medical condition. I was up at 4am every day to bring her to work, molded my entire schedule around her life so that she was never without a ride. Slept on the couch after she had a seizure cause my tossing and turning kept her from getting a good night of sleep. Was constantly cautious of all of my loud noises so as not to startle her and trigger a seizure.
I could’ve dealt with all of it, ALL OF IT, until one weekend when she asked to go out to dinner after me offering for the last several and her declining. I had worked 80h between two jobs and couldn’t move. I told her I was exhausted, maybe tomorrow. She told me I was selfish, uncaring, inconsiderate and didn’t care about her. I got such a second wind from the rage that I packed all her shit up in my car in record time and moved her back to her mother’s house that night.
After 11 years together we were the best of friends – but that was it, best friends.
The relationship devolved into us being really, really good roommates who weren’t meeting each other’s needs, but because we loved each other it took a long time to finally address the elephant in the room. There were several things that weren’t working anymore.
It was an overwhelmingly sad realization to accept that the love of my life wasn’t the right fit. We started dating in our teens and spent all of our twenties together, and we grew up into people that had different wants and needs. We were each other’s first relationships and I think we both were more willing to accommodate things then. We both tried to be what the other needed, but it was at the selfless expense of our own satisfaction… which in the end led to neither of us being happy. He also has depression, and I was exhausted with trying to make him happy and make his life easier, when in reality I wasn’t able to do that because he needed to see a medical professional and treat his illness that way. He is doing so now… but I wish he had faced his depression years ago. Things could have been much different.
He is still by best friend and will always be a huge part of my life, but I need more from a life partner than he was willing to give, and he wanted someone with more common hobbies. It’s only been a month and a half since we made the god awful decision to break up, and we’re still living at room mates while we take apart the life we built together. It’s just really, really sad.
Left my wife because I found out the child wasn’t mine.
We lived together for 2 years, dated for 3. She had to move back to her parents place for work. She stopped talking to me for 2 months because she was too bust going out and getting wasted. She found a guy to get wasted with. I finally call her out on her cheating on me. Imo, people fuck up. And are worth a second chance. So I say, “You’ve hurt me so much I am giving you an ultimatum. Stop seeing this guy, and we can fix what we have. I love you very much, and I don’t want to lose you.” She tells me, “I can’t.”
In that moment, I promptly took her off all social media. Deleted all our past conversations that we ever had. Deleted her number, and her circle of friends. And stopped all contact with her. I get a text two weeks later “I think I made the biggest mistake of my life, and I realized that too late.”
Yes, you did. She never got a response.
But basically she was mental, wanted a baby really badly and was only dating me because I was white and it upset her parents so much.
She would have huge mood swings, Constantly tried to make me cum inside her and never took her pill. We dated for about 4 months before the crazy became too much and I lost interest. She dumped me expecting me to chase her and i just walked away.
She was born again Christian, I’m not, but very open minded and accepting to others’ beliefs. Went to church with her, listened to a service filled with hate, and blasphemy. Went to Sunday school with her, assignment was write a list of people you want to save. My name was at the top of her list… I wrote down Aerith for shits and giggles.
More time goes by, she gets frustrated I’m not converting. Tries giving me a book called “The Shack” to read, it’s horribly offensive and racist with its undertone. Her birthday present she asked for was for me to continue going to church with her. She tried so desperately to change me, but I read too much Ayn Rand to live for another person.
Caught her fucking the yard man on the washing machine in the garage.
She had been dealing with the tragic death of her ex. I just didn’t know how recent it had been. She kept telling me she was over him, but I knew it wasn’t true. I never wanted to compete or take his place, but I didn’t want to be the guy she grabbed on the rebound either.
The last straw was when she called me at 2am crying hysterically. So I go there and find her place in shambles, like someone had broke in. I pull my phone out and videotaped from that moment on. I found her in the shower. I don’t say anything, and I wait… She calls her dead exes phone number. The message says the number is no longer in service, but she continues to talk like he picked up…. She says she wrecked the house like he asked. Now she’s going to clean up like she used to. So I back out (she still doesn’t know I’m there at this point) and act like I come in again….still videotaping. She starts talking like nothing happened, like she wasn’t just having a conversation with a dead guy.
So I send both videos to her sister and tell my ex I’m not mentally ready or capable to attempt to help her in any way. She broke down and said I was helping her grieve, but what she did….. That girl cray. I’m not dealing with it. Even her sister agreed with me.
He was a raging alcoholic. I should’ve known better, but I thought I could help him. Thought I had to. Codependency can be a helluva drug. Anywho, he got WASTED one night (a night when I had to be to work at 7am the next morning). It’s about 3am and he’s listening to music on his phone loud as hell in the other room while I’m trying to sleep. I go out there, hide the bottle of whiskey he was still sipping on (he was so drunk he couldn’t even follow me to stop me from hiding it without falling down over and over again), and take his phone into my room so he can’t blast the music anymore.
He comes into my room, grabs me by my hair so hard I nearly fall off the bed. Then he fumbles around, grabs a pillow, puts it over my face and starts punching me. Hard. Homie has hands the size of a motherfucking motor vehicle (he’s 6’5). I’m just frozen still, can’t believe I’m getting beaten. By a dude I’ve driven all around town and supported and loved and tried to help. Like damn. How did I get myself into this? How? I’m smart. I’m too smart for this. I cry for a minute. Call my mom and she urges me to call the police.
I call the police. It takes 3 officers to wake him up, get him standing, and get him out of my apartment (yeah, he fell sound asleep right after this all happened). Haven’t spoken to him since and am now dating a magnificent, kind man who has shown me what it means to be in a healthy relationship.
He kept a sprig of burnt sage hanging from his ceiling because he’d been “haunted” once and the walls had “developed pulsing veins and a swirling black vortex opened up in the ceiling”. Apparently he was stone cold sober during this.
Then he freaked out when I didn’t send a “got home safe” text after leaving his house and rearranged his whole room to “let off stress from you not texting me back”. He’d never asked for one of those texts before and my phone had died.
When I told him he was overreacting, he deflected by telling me he banished a malevolent spirit from his room by setting two mirrors facing each other, creating an infinite loop of reflections that “trapped the spirit”.
Broke up with him over text immediately.
The breaking point was finding out that she had been going on preplanned walks in the park with her ex to decide if she should give him another chance. She didn’t consider that cheating. Thankfully it made it a black and white decision for me.
She covered me in a pitcher of tequila sunrise at a neighbors house after getting into a screaming argument about duck dynasty. She then slammed the door so hard it knocked the neighbors pictures off of his wall.
Then proceeded to go back to our apartment and kick the door down after I would not give her the keys to open it. I had to call the cops when she started rolling on the floor screaming and tossing things at me. I did however bust out laughing when she was screaming while running around the parking lot holding cats… it reminded me of a Simpsons character and I couldn’t help myself.
Someone recently shit on her car, stupid ass thought it was me for some reason. I never wanted to see her again after that, dated her for a year.
She gave me chlamydia. I confronted her about her cheating, and she claimed I got it from a toilet seat…