1. Not considering your needs. Focusing solely on the person you are with and pleasing them has the potential to make you bitter and resentful and very sexually frustrated.
2. Not thinking about your partner’s needs. Zeroing-in onto your wants and desires, while completely neglecting their’s, is just as bad as ignoring your own.
3. Failing to communicate consistently and effectively. Plowing forward without “checking in” or asking your partner about how they are feeling, is a recipe for suckish sex.
4. Not emphasizing foreplay enough. Sometimes we are in the mood RIGHT NOW, but usually we need to be warmed up. Making sure foreplay is hot for you and your partner is the best way to ensure the sex is too.
5. Only having sex with one small (and very specific) segment of the population. Have intense exclusionary criteria like: “white only,” “under 25,” or “BIG DICKS ONLY.”
6. Not being clear about your expectations. Keeping things intentionally ambiguous and use phrases like “Netflix & Chill?” or “let’s watch a movie” can actually leave a lot of doubt and anxiety about what is ACTUALLY about to happen.
7. Not being open to trying new things in bed. Who knows, you might actually really like it!!
8. Getting pressured into doing things you aren’t comfortable with. Don’t let your partner push you into territory you don’t want to go into, you deserve to be comfortable 100% of the time!
9. Thinking about other things while having sex. Hmmm, when will those dishes get done? What about that homework assignment that’s due in four days?? Sex is a time when multi-tasking is NOT a good thing.
10. Zoning out when a sexual partner is giving you suggestions or constructive criticism. We all have a LOT we can learn, no matter how “experienced” we are.
11. Not using protection, or using it improperly! This will, quite simply, cripple you in a constant post-coitus wave of anxiety and fear. Nobody wants that!
12. Using people for sex. Misleading them about “wanting something more” and having “feelings” for them. This might lead to one good night, but it will NEVER lead to a better sex life or better life in general. Be honest.
13. Letting yourself get used for sex when you don’t want to be. Sometimes we know that we’re falling for a fuckboy, and just go with it, and there is literally no good destination at the end of that road.
14. Being exceedingly arrogant. Guys, pro-tip: Bragging about the size of your manhood does NOT turn us on! Also, don’t lecture your partner about how you KNOW they will “like THIS,” if you just met them like an hour ago.
15. Talking about ex-lovers and how your current partner compares. This is a great way to throw cold water on any hot and sexy situation.
16. Bad Hygiene. Full stop, big problem! Make sure you are cleaning “down there” and everywhere else for that matter!
17. Being really uptight about the whole thing. Sex is not always v. srs business, so let yourself laugh over mistakes or misfires.
18. Convincing yourself that an orgasm is absolutely required for great sex. Rejecting any sex without the “big O” as a failure and total waste of time will wreck havoc on your confidence and make sex suck.