1. Be nice when you buy clothes that are currently on a mannequin.
This is absolutely no problem, as long as you’re serious about buying it. Don’t make me put the effort in if you aren’t genuinely interested in purchasing the item. Also, ask politely. Don’t turn to me and say, “Wanna grab that for me?” Chances are, no, I do not grab that for you. To do so I must leave the sales floor to retrieve a ladder, come back with said ladder (which is usually heavy), set ladder up, retrieve even heavier mannequin, take item of clothing off, replace item of clothing with something similar, and put mannequin back. You better ask me politely.
2. Don’t misread signs.
If you are old enough to possess the credit card that is currently in your hand, you are old enough to read a sign, and read it correctly. That sign says “Up to 50% off.” It does not say “Everything right here is 50% off so take the sticker and divide it by two and then pull your wrinkled coupons out of your bag and expect an even bigger discount.” Also, please figure out what “select styles” means. It means, shocker, select styles.
3. Don’t misread coupons.
I know the font is small, but I know you can still read it. If the coupon is for 50% off and there is currently a 50% off promotion going on, you will not, I REPEAT, NOT get 100% off clothing. Read the fine print, because I can guarantee it says “cannot be combined with current promotion.” Also, if you don’t bring it to the store with you, don’t get upset if we don’t let you use it. Sometimes I value return customers and trust you enough to believe you have it at home. Or sometimes, I’m just in a great mood and I want to save you money. Which leads me to…
4. Thank me if I saved you some money.
And I don’t mean when I offered you a bogus promotion that is designed to draw you into the store. I mean if I have an unused coupon in my pocket and I let you use the promo code…then is a good time to thank me. Sometimes I’m in a great mood and I let you use three “$10 off a purchase of $30 or more” on your purchase of $90. Is that allowed? No. But I’m going to do it anyway because you have a kind face and I’m feeling nice today. Just when you notice that your purchase is thirty dollars cheaper, at least act grateful. Because I saw you notice it.
5. Don’t make me go out back to get something for you.
Because chances are, I’m going to go out back and check my phone while taking a casual sip of water. And then I’m going to go back out front, put on my most sincere face, and tell you that I’m very sorry, but we don’t have any more of that shirt. Because honestly, I don’t give a shit that you want it. I want things that I don’t get because I’m paid minimum wage to work here. Which leads me to…
6. Don’t forget that I get paid minimum wage to work here.
I’m sorry that this is more expensive than you want it to be, but I cannot control that. I’m sorry the promotion isn’t as great as you want it to be, but I cannot control that either. In fact, as luck would have it, I can’t control anything. I can barely control my own working hours. And I get paid shit to be here. Don’t plot your revenge against me for things that are the responsibility of a CEO that I have never even met.
7. Don’t leave things in the dressing room.
My feet hurt, my legs hurt, my dignity hurts, and my whole life hurts. You would be doing me the biggest favor in the world if you put your own jeans away. The LEAST you could do is take them out of the dressing room and put them in the return pile like a normal human.
8. DON’T SWIPE YOUR CREDIT CARD UNTIL I TELL YOU TO DO SO.
I can’t even tell you why this annoys me so much but, fact is, it does. This is not Walmart. I need to hit “total” on the machine before your credit card can even be recognized. And I know you know that. Don’t swipe it while I’m half way through de-censoring your clothing. It annoys me more than most things.
9. Don’t mess up my clothes.
I understand that some messes are unavoidable. But there are other messes that aren’t. If you want to see what a T-shirt looks like, pick up the x-small on top. If you don’t like it, put it back down and if you do like it, get your size. There is nothing more annoying than someone rummaging to get an XL just to decide they don’t even like the shirt and throw it back on top. That’s just stupid. And even though the store closes at 9, we don’t leave at 9. Every mess you make in this clothing store is ten minutes extra I have to stay after closing time. During holiday season, employees often stay past midnight. Please remember that actual humans have to clean this store — not fairies.
10. Don’t ask if I work here.
If I am folding clothes, I work here. If I look like I work here, I work here. I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve been working (folding clothes, talking to customers, WEARING A HEADSET AND NAME TAG) and people haven’t noticed. And then when I shop on my days off (with a cell phone, key ring, and yoga pants) people ask if I work at the store and expect me to get them a dressing room. Please utilize your common sense.
11. Smile at me when you say hi to me.
I hope you know that I’m required to greet you when you walk in the store. In fact, my manager is barking at me on my headset to do it almost every second. So that being said, my “Can I help you find anything?” was not genuine. In fact, it was faker than the mannequin you just walked by. But I said it, and I said it politely. The least you can do is say, “No thank you” in a friendly tone. I know you’re capable of shopping by yourself and you don’t actually need my help. But I’m required to offer it and get scolded when I don’t. More importantly, if I simply say hi to you, smile when you say it back. It makes worlds of a difference during my six hour shift.