Commitment Is Nothing To Be Afraid Of

Vladimir Kudinov
Vladimir Kudinov

I was so nervous. I felt my singledom slip away from me. I knew it was what I wanted and yet for some reason, it was hard to let it go.

About five months ago, I wrote an article called When The Eternally Single Girl Finally Gets Into a Relationship. I had just started dating my now boyfriend, Myron*. It’s a strange phenomena to experience so much change in a relatively short amount of time. I feel like I’ve known Myron for as long as I’ve known that Brittany was crazy; For as far back as to when I didn’t know that Kanye was (clearly I still have this past weekend’s VMAs on my mind).

It all progressed naturally.

I went from scheduling dates with Myron a few times a week to spending almost every night with him. I used to be so worried, the few times I offered to cook dinner, that it wouldn’t be perfect. I was worried Myron would show up and I’d still, gasp, be cooking! I can’t pinpoint exactly when, but at some point, the pressure just disappeared. I could let my hair down… and even not iron it, if I wasn’t in the mood.

It has been liberating to be able to just be me! Hopefully, being in a relationship will bring us both closer to our best selves. Neither one of us is perfect (I mean, I’m pretty close but…). We both have room for improvement and because we have dissimilarities, we can help each other succeed in different areas. I’m on a mission to improve Myron’s health — biggest fault, he hates avocado! Myron has been able to help me, the push over, be knocked down a little less. He also is a constant source of news, improving my worldly ignorance on a daily basis. He humors me by saying “did you hear about…” and then I reply “you know I didn’t.” From there, Myron fills me in on the latest news and world happenings.

It’s not always easy; I don’t think there’s going to be a movie made about our romance.

We are no Jack and Kate, no Allie and Noah. But, I’m happy enough with real life. Who knows, maybe the scene from this Saturday in which I am sitting on the toilet with my legs against the sink freaking out, screaming for Myron to kill the giant fucking cockroach that is running around the bathroom floor, could make it’s way into some Judd Apatow film. If you’re reading this Judd, call me.

I thought being in a relationship would be the end of those Netflix binges. Little did I know, they’ve only increased! I still manage to squeeze in my Bravo while Myron is away, and when we are together, we tackle plowing through a series together. I’ve wanted to watch The Sopranos for years. Finally, there is someone to push me along. And, I can share with him those WTF moments since everyone has moved on from talking about The Sopranos.

I know Myron thinks about our future, and so do I. Does it make me a bit skittish? Yes.

But, I know I would be the same way with anyone. Hell, committing to a full time job scares me, it seems so final. However, it also excites me to wonder what our future will hold. And, I don’t miss those dating apps for a second.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent and also, how funny is the name Myron? Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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