30 Things You Feel When You’re Turning 30

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1. Birthdays

When everyone asks you what you want to do for your big 3-0, all you can do is think about hiding in a corner and crying.

2. Surveys

When taking any survey, you no longer fall under the 20’s bracket, but you still click on it anyways.

3. Marriage

You see your friends and family slowly getting married, and here you are still single and thinking…what is wrong with me?

4. WebMD

You become a hypochondriac and think you have all these diseases and issues that you never even heard of.

5. Career

You think that you would’ve found your dream job by now, but you can’t even figure out what you want do with your life.

6. Kids

People you know not only have one, two, but three children! And here you are with a pet goldfish that you can’t even take care of.

7. Body and Fitness

You used to think you could run a mile in 10 minutes, but now it takes you 30.

8. Party Like a Rockstar

You can’t party or drink like you used to. Instead you go to sleep at 10:00 PM because your next day is an Advil-and-sunglasses kind of day.

9. Sports

You start playing golf.

10. Traveling

When you want to go travel, but your friends and family have a busy schedule so you can’t coordinate a single weekend to go on a trip. Now you are thinking you will never see the world because you won’t travel by yourself.

11. Bridesmaid/Groomsman

You are always the bridesmaid or the groomsman, but never the bride or groom.

12. Diet

You can’t eat what and how you used to eat because your metabolism acts up.

13. ID

When you don’t get ID’d you feel that 30 is plastered all over your forehead and you demand that you get ID’d.

14. Social Media

When you can’t even keep up with the gram, snaps, and the book.

15. Grad School

When you know you didn’t achieve your goal in your career so now you think you should finally apply for grad school, only you don’t know how 30-year-olds study these days.

16. Netflix and Not Chill

When you realize you can’t even Netflix anymore because you wasted your 20’s watching all the documentaries and shows and now you need to do something productive with your life.

17. What’s Cookin’ Old Lookin’

When you still don’t know how to make anything but a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

18. I’ll Be There For You

When your friends, who have significant others, ask you to hang out, but you don’t want to be the third or fifth wheel, so you make up excuses of being busy, but really you’re slumped under your bed covers trying to figure out life.

19. Cash Money

When you think you could top Drake by being 30 and sitting on 30 mil, but really you’re thinking about how much you want to put in your 401k.

20. Midlife Crisis

When you start planning for your midlife crisis.

21. Significant Other

When you are on dating apps, but can’t seem to find “the one,” so you just date someone to finally just settle.

22. Accomplishments

When you reflect back the “couldas, shouldas, wouldas” and now you think it’s too late.

23. Home Sweet Home

When everyone is moving in with their significant other or has a property they own/rent, but you still live with your parents.

24. Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

When you know you aren’t going to look young forever and hide behind makeup.

25. Winging It

When you just go with the flow and think your opinions don’t matter anymore.

26. Hobbies

When you pick up an instrument for the first time or download Rosetta Stone to learn a new language.

27. Tick-Tock

When you realize when you were younger you wanted time to fly by fast, but now you just want it to pause so you can live and breathe for a minute!

28. Age

When someone asks you how old you are and you say “I’m young enough” but slowly cringe inside.

29. Not the new 20’s

No matter what anyone says, it is NOT the new 20’s.

30. Thirty

Plain and simple, you are 30. Just accept it and move on.