Babies do not pay taxes.
Marrying your best friend seems to maybe miss the point about best friends and really miss the point about sex.
Later that night, while making dinner, I mentioned in passing that I’d been recently to “mass,” and she said, after a long pause, “Yeah…we should probably talk about that.”
Had I been told as a 5-year-old I had a freezer full of popsicles, I would’ve imagined I was some kind of lotto winner or rich space astronaut. Now I know I’m just too cheap to go to the doctor.
You’ve bought shots for your best friend’s teenage sister, OR she’s like 40 and totally DTF.
He told me that the Bible was a bunch of fun stories, which wiped away any concerns I had about shacking up near an Earth-is-6,000-years-old creep.