I’ve been married twice — to men. I’ve been in great assortment of other relationships with men, as well — from living with them to dating them — for the past 30 years or so. And, in spite of what I often hear women complain about, I have come to truly believe that men are usually the more patient, forgiving, tolerant and committed partners in heterosexual relationships. This doesn’t prove 100 percent true all the time, of course. There’s an exception to all rules.
Nonetheless, here are 10 ways I’ve noticed men are BETTER at relationships than women:
1. Men are less likely to hold grudges.
Women have no problem reminding you what it truly means to be scorned. But let’s face it, remembering a forgotten birthday 10 years later (after continuous scolding) is over kill, ladies. Most men won’t partake in such cattiness; they are like little kids in that they typically forgive and forget within 10 minutes of an incident.
2. Men are less likely to treat their adult partners like children.
When is the last time you heard a husband scold his wife for wearing an inappropriate shirt or order her to do the dishes? Just let that sink in.
3. Men have a lot more patience.
It’s not often that women would wait an extra hour and be late so that he could get his hair perfected, and then still say, “Honey, you look great!” Chances are, we’d be livid and pout the entire car ride. Not to mention, how many women do you know who would accompany him to the golf course with as much patience as he displays in shopping malls? I’m willing to bet, not many.
4. Men handle their partners’ intense emotions with more kindness.
How many men do you know who will stop arguing and comfort her if she cries in anger, and how many women do you know who will do the same if he yells in anger?
5. Men rarely turn down their partner for sex.
Even if she hasn’t shaved, has morning breath or looks at him funny. No further explanation needed, but a lot of men are putting up with a lot of celibacy that they would never demand of their lady counterparts.
6. Men don’t habitually gossip about details of their partners’ personal lives.
Women support an entire gossip media industry that does nothing but discuss the intimate details of other people’s personal lives, and this rarely is different when it comes to the tiresome details of their own lives.
7. Men don’t sweat the small stuff as often.
Think about it: Which parent is always stressing about the dirty clothes at 10 PM when the twin toddlers have finally been wrangled into their beds — Mom or Dad?
8. Men are more hopeful.
They still believe in marriage and are willing to get married, in spite of a very unjust judicial system that continues to award women an unfair amount of custody and lifetime spousal support settlements that seem entirely out of proportion to logic. On the other hand, there are women who become so jaded (and dare I say it — bitter) after bad relationships that sometimes they lose faith in men, as a whole.
9. In general, men complain less.
I could go on and on with this example, but just the lack of a major self-help book industry for men, compared to women, is indicative of which gender constantly places their energy focusing on a laundry basket full problems (and unfixable ones, at that).
10. Men are more at peace with the way things are.
Women are more likely to remain in one gear — that gear being “improvement” mode; this results in them pressuring everyone to improve the relationship, the house, the bank accounts, etc.
Maybe (just maybe) if more women were open to learning about: patience, tolerance, forgiveness and being at peace with “what is” from the men in their lives, there’d be a significant decrease in relationship stress for everyone. I’m not sure why most women feel the constant need to one up their lives, but I do think that most of us are far more competitive this way in comparison to men.
The problem is your attempt to “improve” what’s truly not broken doesn’t contribute to the peace, harmony and stability — OR FUN — of romantic relationships.