1. Shackled to an imbecile
Having a penis is like being shackled to an imbecile. Constantly being bombarded by bad ideas. “Mmm she hot, we make fuck with her.”
“No penis, she is married to my best friend. Now be quiet.”
2. It goes out of its way to be injured
For an organ that requires a lot of protection and can be so easily hurt they sure do like hanging out in the fuckin open all nonchalant like.
Also the after sex piss, hoping its not gonna shoot off to the side or straight up.
3. Take over the brain
They sometimes monopolize the blood flow and override brain’s decisions.
4. Get away from there!
Having my dick touch the inside of the toilet when i take a shit. Gross.
5. So hard to shave
Girls always want me to shave. Do you know how hard it is to shave your balls?
Random boner in public places
The swamp ass is 10x’s worse with balls sticking to your legs
8. Always in fear
Walking in dark rooms full of tables.
9. Being so vulnerable
The fact that someone can make me start screaming in pain by kicking me in there.
10. Everyone knows when I’m turned on
Wearing gym shorts in the morning for gym in high school behind attractive classmates in boy shorts. It’s morning. It’s warm in the gym. I was behind Katelyn alphabetically, so I instantly got a raging boner and it was way too hard to conceal.
11. We can’t even sit without fear
Sitting on your balls. And yes, I know every man just cringed thinking of the feeling.
12. Then when we sit, more attacks on us
Getting accused of manspreading when I’m just trying to not squish em.
13. Living with a bad design plan
The design is just… Bad. If I would have designed them, testicles would not be hanging outside the main body mass and penis would only come out when needed. Also when urinating, no double stream.
14. Can’t focus on other things
I want to fuck, roughly, a 60% of the women I meet. That’s gross, but that’s how it works…
15. We can barely even pee
When you go to the toilet and you start double streaming, that’s fucking annoying. I’ve got the thing in my hand for aim and my dick just goes “no, me pee here, AND HERE”.
16. How do we even get through it?
The constant struggle of tight underwear and always having to readjust.
The little afterpee drips that make themselves known on your boxers.
Shaving pubic hair is fucking challenging.
17. We always feel inadequate
The constant feeling of not measuring up that porn gives guys who aren’t the most endowed (still of average size but porn suggests you are on the small size).
18. Dick doesn’t want to pull out
The insatiable urge to not pull out during sex. It’s a primal instinct for one and it feels so GOD DAMN GOOD!
19. Underwear ALWAYS uncomfortable
I hate it when my underwear rides up and pinches or squishes my balls. Or when junior decides that he doesn’t want to stay in my boxers and keeps poking out the front to get some air.