Thought Catalog

23 Gender-Based Double Standards That Are Extremely Unfair To Men (As Told By 23 Men)

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Christopher Campbell
Christopher Campbell

1. Nobody teaches us self defense

Recently I was mugged on the street. Luckily, it wasn’t serious, but we got in a fight and I have some noticeable scratches.

I started searching for self-defense seminars in my area. All of them are for women. If you’re a guy, your options are basically a 12-month contract with a BJJ or Krav Maga class.

— SpaceRook

2. People don’t believe we can be sexually harassed

The HR woman at my company has recently been very sexual towards me. At the company Christmas party she kept showing me her cleavage, grabbing my ass, and trying to grab my dong. Today she walked into my office, gave me an vitamin C supplement and said “since you won’t look at my tits, put this in your mouth yourself!” then proceeded to hand it to me and said “oh, it’s too big for your mouth, isn’t it!?”

I reported her to the CEO (nobody else to go to and it is a very small company) and was told they would have a meeting about her behavior. Now imagine if any male were to do this to any female. Let alone the fucking HR person.

— beernsleep

3. Or sexually assaulted…

Lots of people believe men can’t be raped. I have a cousin in Ohio who was raped this summer by a girl and no one believed him.

Kid went through hell for a while until she confessed to him and his parents. They won’t press charges, though, because the girl is pregnant and manipulating a 19 year old into being a father of a child she raped him to conceive.

Maybe I’m biased because he’s my little cousin but I feel like there’d be national outrage if the genders were swapped.

— mioabs

4. We aren’t allowed to be vain with our hair

No big deal if a woman wears a wig, but considered silly and sad if a guy wears one.

— manutd875

5. It’s okay for women to hit us (and we can’t hit back)

That is okay for women to hit or slap men.

It’s not okay.

I left my wife after, in front of about 20 people, she slapped the shit out of me. People just watched. My ears were ringing and while getting repeatedly hit, her holding on to my ripping shirt. She finally stopped when I managed to get a phone out to hand to a spectator and asking for a call to 911.

Because what am I supposed to do? Yes I am bigger than her and could lay her out if I tried but it’s a losing proposition. Either get beat or defend myself and land serious domestic assault charges. We were in a parking garage in San Francisco after a concert. Fuck the people that just watched.

— The_Real_DerekFoster

6. We can’t be emotional

That women are allowed to show emotions and that women are able to be nice to kids and not be labeled pedophiles.

— yoyo2016

7. Men can’t be vain when dating

“You won’t date me because I’m overweight? Body standards much?”

But you can call men out for their height. That seems fair.

— TheAdventurousWriter

8. We have to be frugal

If a woman buys a 50k suburban, or a guy buys a 40k truck, no one bats an eye and they are congratulated on their purchase. If a guy buys a used luxury car for 25k, they get absolute shit for being extravagant and flashy.

— aeneas36

9. We are seen as bad parents by default

“Wow, Sarah, you’re such a great mother! Your kids must be inspired by the example you set.”

vs

“Oh look- Mr.Mommy’s looking after you today! It’s nice to see Steve take care of you this time- I bet he doesn’t do it often.”

— TheAdventurousWriter

10. Seriously, we are seen as predators

Back when my peanut was a tiny human, we were walking up the street and she was being a little shit because I wouldn’t let her have ice cream. All pouty and sulky. I’m holding her hand.

At the lights a lady took her other hand and straight up asked if she was ok and if this man was hurting her.

Before I could even react, the kid turned indignantly, ripped her little hand away and screamed ‘This is my daddy!! Leave me alone!! Daddy help!!’ and I picked her up.

I’m sure glad looks don’t kill, because if they could I’m pretty sure I’d be behind bars. Proud moment though. My kid is awesome.

— Mahhrat

11. Or idiots…

Dads always portrayed as idiots in movies and TV programs. The mother knows everything about life and has every word of wisdom there is to offer. The father just makes awkward jokes and nods his head.

— TheAdventurousWriter

12. If we use certain words, we are seen as gay

As a guy I can’t call things cute or adorable or at least i will get weird looks. This happened quite a few times with my friends.

— JusticePitcher

13. And we certainly can’t compliment other dudes

I can’t even say that a desirable trait for a man are good cheekbones without getting weird looks from my friends.

Hate that notion that if I compliment a man, there has to be a tinge of gayness in there.

— Blazingcrono

14. We can’t defend ourselves physically from abusive partners

I’m a battered (ex) husband. She beat me for years. I called the cops and they “investigated” but did nothing. I hit her back once, in the end, to make her stop, and suddenly I’m an abusive wife beater and the police separated us and I had to go to counseling.

Another one is, if a man and a woman, both completely shit faced drunk, have sex, the man raped the woman because she is not capable of giving consent. But the man was not able to give consent either.

— macallen

15. We get screwed on insurance

It’s totally acceptable for car insurance companies to charge men more but illegal for medical insurance companies to charge women more.

— Toolongdidntreproduc

16. We can’t think celebrities are attractive or we are “part of the problem”

Yeah in my group of friends I feel like if I express any form of sexual attraction to an actress I can feel the eyes rolling all around me. Then not 10 minutes later I hear the girls talking about using some actors chin like a seat.

— JaBooty

17. We can’t explore our sexuality as freely

Acceptance of exploring sexuality.

Lady wants a sex toy: no problem

Lady wants to express her kink: no problem

Man wants a sex toy: pervert!

It’s all ridiculous and washed over because people feel that men get pats in the back for having high numbers like our sexuality can only be tied to our partners.

— Toolongdidntreproduc

18. If a man did this, we’d be seen as gross

I watched an episode of “Ellen” with my girlfriend once where Jake Gyllenhal came on. Ellen spent the entire interview trying to talk him into taking off his shirt. Then, she had male strippers come out into the audience to dance, one was wearing a Cubs hat, and the other a Cleveland Indians hat. Whichever got the most money shoved in his jock would determine the “winner” of the World Series.

Now, imagine an afternoon talk show where a man hosting kept trying to get his female guests to take off their clothes and then had strippers come out for virtually no reason, and it was on a major network station. How large of an outcry would there be? The host would be considered an asshole and sexist prick. Ellen got a presidential recognition medal.

— kdeweb24

19. Basically, it’s okay to objectify men :(

I see it again and again, where some women objectify men the way they hate to be objectified themselves. That’s the one that gets me too.

— stumbleuponlife

20. Dress codes never let us wear sandals!

My work has “casual Fridays”

I regularly see women in open toed shoes around the office all week. So on casual Fridays I thought it was ok to wear flip flops with jeans.

I was called into the office of my manager and told I could not wear flip flops or sandals of any kind as men cannot wear open toe shoes even on “casual Fridays”

— trev186

21. Seriously, everyone thinks we are predators!

As a man, not being able to appreciate cute kids in public.

I’m a father of toddler so I’m in the stage of life where I notice kids more often. If I see a little girl in a cute dress or a little boy in a cool little suit I kind of want to tell the parent. But I realize if I did that I could easily scare the parent and even sound like a creeper.

Even writing what I just did I feel like I will be judged as a creeper. Which kind of makes it a difficult double standard to shake because honestly if some random man said my son was dressed nicely/looked good I most certainly would be wary of him….

— Nexas_Fatebringer

22. Women have preferences, we are called pigs

It pisses me off that we have to accept women who won’t consider dating men who aren’t six foot tall or have a six inch penis as having “preferences” yet men cannot say they don’t want to date a woman who is fat or obese.

Now I’m not one of those men who are into fit women but they shouldn’t be made to feel ashamed for what they are attracted to.

— DonaldTrumpsWaifu

23. Discounts at bars

Oh, what about ‘Ladies Night’? Ladies admitted free before 10?

— the-camster TC mark

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