26 People Reveal The Most NSFW Shit That Went Down At Their Workplace

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Content originally published on R/AskReddit

1. Couldn’t stop having sex at work

Worked for a trucking/delivery company one summer. A woman got fired for,… well,.. I guess you’d call it nymphomania. She would disappear for 20 minutes pretty often without a good explanation.

She got caught having sex at least 4 times that I know of (once with a customer in the bathroom, 3 times with the drivers in their trucks.) She was warned in writing to stop having sex while at work. She just couldn’t do it, the last time both she and the truck driver got fired on the spot.

2. Wait, both people in this story suck.

A while back I worked at a company of about ~300 people. One of the guys I worked with was convinced another dude in the department next to us jerked off in the bathroom. So he watches the dude all night until it’s like 2:00 AM (night shift) and he finally goes to the bathroom. He followed jack-offer into the bathroom, stands up on the toilet with his phone and records him.

He was jacking off. The guy showed HR the next day and they were both fired. They were both pretty stupid.

3. Boss getting it on

Boss bangs receptionist. Wife finds out. Wife says “either she goes or I go.” Boss pays receptionist $50k to leave so she wouldn’t sue for wrongful dismissal.

6 months go by… boss hires a wayyyyy hotter receptionist just last month. Now we wait…

4. Jerkin’ it in the break room

I managed a retail store, hired a new kid, and it was just me and him there one afternoon. He asked to go to the back while we were slow to make a call. He was back there about 10 min and Stacy came in early for her afternoon shift…walked to the back room and came out horrified.

I went back, and caught him on the phone jerking off. Fuckin kid called a phone sex line and was having a wank at the break table. After i had to fire him, he called me relentlessly begging for his job back.

5. “Goodbye and I had a lot of sex”

A guy quit and sent a company-wide farewell email detailing all the places he had sex in our office buildings. In pretty graphic detail. The IT department removed it from the servers but I assume someone saved it somewhere.

6. We didn’t expect the video to be THIS

I once worked for a well known computer company in one of their fancy stores. One of my co-workers was helping a nice lady with her computer problems one day.

She was about 40 and she had her BF with her. Picture a well built guy with long hair. The strange thing about him was that his face was a pulp. When they came in, it look like someone had taken a shovel to his face the night before.

Anyway, my co-worker is getting along with them and helping them with some simple problems. All jokes and laughs with both of them. But there was one last thing! She was confused about something to do with video. My co-worker sees a video file on the desk top and asks if it’s ok to show her. With out thinking about it, she says yes.

Well, it was a home movie of her getting railed by Old Shovel Face. Loud and proud, banging away on film. My co-worker got it shut off, but it was obvious that many people knew what they heard and a lot of people saw it on the screen. The guy thought it was hilarious and the lady basically bolted out of the door.

7. Blood everywhere

I worked at a gym that would do anything to sign up new members. As part of the out-reach promotions, members of the sales team would regularly head out into the city to hand out free one-day passes, with the hope of converting them once they had their details on file.

One day a homeless guy comes in with a pass. We couldn’t say no and he headed inside to use the showers — fair enough. The changing rooms were checked hourly, as were the showers; and it was during these checks that a member of my team noticed blood trailing into the shower gutter. On checking, the homeless guy had taken his opportunity of a free shower to treat himself to a DIY pedicure, as he sat carving the hard skin off his feet with a razor blade.

8. Bathroom fun

Four legs in a stall and another dude in the next stall was bending and masturbating to whatever he could see.

9. Banging the new cashier

Coworker found the (married with kids) boss banging one of the cashiers in the safe room. He was late 40’s. She was 18.

10. “He pissed all over the case!”

I used to work in a Cinnabon at a mall. One evening a guy walked up to the front counter, whipped his dick out and started pissing all over a glass display case, smiling like an idiot the entire time, then tried to deny what he’d done and order a drink.

Like, most mall food places the front counter was the front of the store so this was happening out in the midst of all the mall’s foot traffic, though I should probably let everyone know we weren’t in the food court. The guy got arrested, in case you were curious.

11. The presentation was a porno!!!

I work at one of those hipster co-working spaces which is also the host to an assortment of programmer meet-ups in town. One evening during a meet-up, this guy just finished his presentation and we were transitioning to the next speaker. Shortly after she comes up, some hardcore interracial pornography starts playing on the TV that the AppleTV was connected to.

The previous speaker had been using it for his slides or something, and once he sat down his phone was still connected to it I guess (not exactly sure how apple tv works). Apparently his “brother” sent him a link to a video in text and he clicked it and it just automatically started playing on the TV in front of about 2 dozen people. He promptly stood up and unplugged the TV from the wall and left the room. He came back shortly after apologizing with some shit like “my brother is such a dick.” It was hands down the most cringe-worthy moment of my life.

12. Charged sex toys to company credit card

The girl who had been writing sex toys and other stuff off as expenses and used them with her customer was a good one. She unsurprisingly went to work for that customer after she got fired.

13. Milk brings all the girls to the yard??

Co-worker banging girl from produce in the dairy cooler thinking the shelving would hide the deed. Store manager was not pleased when he got the complaint.

14. LOL

So at my last job, every year they would throw a mini party for all employees who had been there for 5+ years. This year, they got a cabin in a small mountain town and took everyone for an overnight adventure. Well of course, part of the adventure was a bit of partying.

It’s no secret that the CEO is somewhat of a pot head, so no one was surprised when a batch of pot brownies made it to the cabin. But no one ate them.

The next day, they all return to the office and all the leftover food was spread out in the office kitchen so the rest of the company could enjoy some snacks. Well, someone didn’t realize that they were “special” brownies and set them out. One of the designers cut himself quite a large brownie and ate it.

The CEO realized what happened and removed the batch from the kitchen, then went on a search around the office in hopes of stopping whoever had taken the brownie. It was too late. The designer was totally ripped and spent the rest of the day eating snacks and coloring in a coloring book.

15. Too much flashing 

One of my coworkers often would pull up her dress and flash another girl in the office for fun. One time she decided to do it in the copy room just as the owner of he company walked in.

16. Lots of people get head in the freezer

My buddy got his dick sucked in the meat cooler by the floral shop girl.

17. Want some fries with that?

Multiple BJs in various stages witnessed from drive-thru payment window.

18. Slippery when wet?

This girl sucked and fucked multiple people in the bathroom, she finally got caught and fired.

She would put up a maintenance sign up and went to town.

19. Doesn’t sound legal…

There was so much, but I think the one that takes the cake is my manager, who was 30 or so, was caught by my then boyfriend dry humping a 15 year old in the office.

20. Human Resources is grabbing my dick

HR lady grabbing my junk under the table at company picnic. Move her hand and look over and she is doing the same thing to my boss on the other side of her. She may have been slightly intoxicated.

21. What about freezers turns people on??

Girl gave a blowjob/handjob to one of the guys in a cooler. Both were employees.

She later took her department manager to the spot and showed him where the other guy had come on the ground. I think she was trying to proposition him with the same.

I only heard about it a few days after the fact. Neither of the two were fired, though one of them probably would have been if the girl didn’t quit.

22. The thrusting was too loud

Secretary got caught having sex with an intern in a room where we kept all the filing cabinets. They had started so fast that the secretary had left one of the shelves open and she held onto it to “stabilize” herself. The pair got so excited at one point that the intern quite literally pelvic thrusted her so hard that the secretary slammed the shelf closed with her body while her fingers were still in the shelf and broke most of her fingers.

The resulting scream is how we all found out.

23. Psycho photos = you’re going to jail

I work in a photo lab and I’ve seen child porn and animal abuse. The good thing is that in order to send in your photos to be printed, you need to enter your first and last name and phone number. Every last one of these people got arrested after my department reported the photos.

24. Didn’t catch anyone stealing tools…

Worked in Loss Prevention for years and once while working at a Distribution center I was tasked with figuring out who was taking tools from the Maintenance closet (really more like a maintenance room). So I install two pin hole camera’s and wait.

In just over a week I capture the Maintenance Mgr’s secretary and one of the maintenance men getting it on in there and another clip of that same maintenance worker jacking off into a paper towel and leaving it on the shelf. Totally grossed me out. Too bad I never caught anyone stealing tools.

25. There’s a surprise ending here:

Checked the answering machine. Call from co-worker. She buttdialed the office answer machine. Apparently in the middle of sex. She comes in and we start ribbing her.

“So how is your husband doing! Pretty happy?”

“Oh yeah, he went down to St. Louis and saw the ball game last. He’s on his way home about now.”

Turns out, she didn’t know she butt dialed us during sex. When we tell her about it, she begs us not to tell her husband. She was having sex with his brother.

26. Wut?

Someone at my work ,dead serious, tried to convince me to let his dad impregnate me. When I told him no he cried hysterically and then later asked his dad ANYWAYS to have a baby with me…I’m a preschool teacher. TC mark

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