Imagine driving down the freeway as your diesel-fueled truck spews out black smoke. Out of the corner of your teary eyes, you see one of those smug Prius drivers. You honk your horn of freedom and step on the accelerator of justice. You get in front of that sucker because you’re rolling on a 345 horsepower engine that only American hands have touched. Suck on the fumes of glory! you shout while giving that tree-hugging hippie the finger. You’re a coal roller. And you’ve done ‘Murica proud.
Coal rollers are actually a phenomenon that is happening around the United States.
Originally from truck pulls, these black smoke spewing behemoths have entered mainstream culture. They are modified trucks designed to expel black exhaust into the atmosphere as a “Fuck you!” to President Obama and people who care about the environment.
It seems that these men and women who support coal rolling do so purely to spite President Obama’s efforts to spread the news of climate change.
“I run into a lot of people that really don’t like Obama at all,” a seller [of a coal rolling custom equipment distributor in Wisconsin] said. “If he’s into the environment, if he’s into this or that, we’re not. I hear a lot of that. To get a single stack on my truck—that’s my way of giving them the finger. You want clean air and a tiny carbon footprint? Well, screw you.”
Trucks can be modified for as little as $500, where a smokestack is installed to trick it into needing more fuel. In turn, that creates the smoke — and increased fuel consumption.
This “cultural statement” goes to further their protest against the hippie organization that they view with scorn: the EPA. It also serves to belittle men and women who consciously drive “ricers” to try and preserve what’s left of the environment.
But even the most Obama-hating conservative have to admit that this is literally throwing money out the window. After all, more fuel consumption means more trips to the gas station.
Next on the coal roller supporters’ agenda: set fire to all plastic jugs in their backyard to condemn Obamacare.