I know grief is the darkest emotion that exists, and it can change you in a fraction of a moment. When you lose someone you love, it drastically changes you to the point of no return. That’s the raw truth about grief—you can’t help but let the darkness in. But I also need you to remember that you’re not alone in your grief. You may not have someone who understands your grief precisely the way you do, but your loved ones are there to make the burden less heavy. You can’t change the situation, and you certainly can’t bring them back to life, but I want you to know something.
I want you to know that it’s okay to feel broken. You don’t need to pressure yourself to everyone’s expectations to find the silver lining in your grief. You’re allowed to cry, scream, or shout at the top of your lungs. You’re allowed to feel betrayed and destroyed in losing someone you love, no matter what part they played in your life. Let yourself feel your grief and brokenness. There isn’t a right or wrong way to deal with your grief, but you have to face it.
I want you to know that you are far stronger than you think. You may think that life is just a never-ending loop of trauma, grief, and despair, but I need you to hold on to the hope that this pain is temporary. Grief doesn’t define you and it never will, and you have to remember this. What will define you is your ability to conquer this pain and brokenness that you feel.
I want you to know that life won’t always be composed of painful moments such as these. Life is a mixture of both good and bad, of darkness and light. Your ability to get past this is the bravest thing you can ever do. Grief is the most painful emotion, and nothing makes you feel more stuck than missing someone who’s no longer here.
Lastly, I want you to know that it doesn’t make you a bad person for needing isolation for your mourning. It’s okay to need space and time for yourself just until you process everything you feel. You don’t have to feel guilty for doing this, but also remember that your friends and family are just around the corner to be the support you need.