What Love Was And What Love Becomes
Love isn’t always pretty. But love isn’t destructive either. There’s a darkness to love, but it isn’t supposed to consume you with that darkness.
We used to think that love was tolerating the bad in someone just because you can’t imagine a life without them.
Love was screaming at them until it drains the energy out of you, wondering when was the moment that love suddenly turned to despair and anger.
Love was losing yourself and giving up everything you’ve ever known, for someone that ruined your purity and innocence in love. Love was defending them from the snares and terrible truths of everyone you love, even if you know they’re right. Love was trying to save your relationship alone, even if you aren’t happy anymore. Love was doing things against your morals, just to make them happy. Love was full of empty promises and “I’m going to stay, no matter how destructive this feels.” Love was full of needs that are never met and settling for less, because you’ve already invested so much to the wrong person. Love was crying and falling apart, wondering when you’ll ever be enough for them.
Love was giving and giving and giving until you wait for them to change, until they treat you better. But they never do.
Love becomes walking away. Love becomes wondering how they could have left you with every promise of the future. Love becomes questions of whatifs and howcouldtheys. Love becomes strength. Love becomes finding who you really are, before they left you to ruins. Love becomes self-love and being patient with yourself to heal from your past. Love becomes turning to God with every shattered piece of your heart and letting Him heal you, completely. Love becomes guarded without realizing it and putting up all those walls, never letting yourself need anybody. Love becomes hardening your heart from the pain of this world and never letting anyone in, ever again. Love becomes fearful.
And then, you come to realize that love is vulnerability. You come to realize that, love is finding the courage to break down all your walls for the right person. Love is taking a leap that they aren’t going to destroy you. Love is healthy arguments filled with constructive criticism and “I’m sorry I made you feel this way.” Love avoids screaming and attacks on your insecurities and selfish demands. Love is someone making time for you, amidst everything. Love is someone changing for the better, because they want nothing more but to deserve you. Love is showed with their actions and how dedicated they are to earn your trust and eventually, your heart. Love is someone being attracted to your mind and soul the most, rather than any other part of your body. Love is strengthened with similar morals and values and doesn’t try to make you compromise for them. Love is selfless. Love doesn’t pride in winning arguments and shoving their mistakes down their throat. Love is lifting them up and being their best friend in life. Love is composed of moments of vulnerability. Love is raw, honest and real.
This. This is what real love looks like.