This Is How You Run Away

pexels
pexels

One day I was married, and then one day I wasn’t. I was so in love from the moment we met but for some reason that wasn’t enough. Did I settle? I don’t think so. Was it the lies? No not even that. In February the same month I got married I discovered that my husband had participated in some extramarital activities days after our wedding, so I ran. I booked a one way flight to South Korea and from there everything changed. I found a love for the culture I never understood before, and soon after the idea of marriage wasn’t what I thought it was. In July I filed for divorce. We had a wonderful home and we were figuring out the whole marriage thing but something was not right, I couldn’t pinpoint it until it hit me like a ton of bricks, he cheated. I woke up every night, after this discovery of infidelity and lies, in a panic. What am I doing? What have I done? Could I ever look at him the same? 23 days later I packed a bag in the middle of the night and I left. I wrote a note that said, “I don’t know if I’ll be back, I don’t know if I was ever truly here with you in this love that could have been so amazing.” And with that revolution I embarked on what will become an amazing journey of self discovery. It wasn’t until three months into my journey that I realized that I wanted more out of life then the love I shared with my husband. I was sitting on Mt. Soyosan, after a grueling three hour hike to the top, when I decided that I was going to explain my decision to run across the world, and my discovery that led to it, to my husband and to my family, who had no idea where I had ventured to. I called my dad first and he was worried but he understood when I told him I needed more. Next was my husband who yelled and screamed and called me names, in this moment I decided divorce was the way. How I left things may seem harsh but you never truly know what you want until you feel yourself being sucked into a routine that you didn’t know you never wanted. The way my husband reacted, with anger and degrading words and not with worry and fear is what fueled my decision to end things. I now sit in a Starbucks in Seoul writing this with no regrets and nothing but a new found love of exploration and culture. This is only the first stop in my journey and one day I’ll be able to share it with someone. But for now I’m enjoying everything this world has to offer on my own and I couldn’t be more happy with my self, my decision, and the beauty of this world. TC mark

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