An Open Letter To The Beautifully Imperfect Lover

Flickr / Vivian
Flickr / Vivian

To the Beautifully Imperfect Lover,

Life experiences sometimes can be traumatic. Like if you’ve been hurt in love, the tendency is that you’ll have a hard time trusting anybody else and totally pouring yourself in, in whatever relationships to come. But this shouldn’t be the case.

Mistakes. Pains. Challenges. They’re all part of life. And we’re all meant to go through them. No one is exempted. Thus, we shouldn’t feel that it is unfair, if we are tried on – if we are going through one or two or all these at a time. These are present in life to make us better. And we are not alone in every battle. We have our gracious and loving God to our rescue. Sometimes He put people along the way to help us through. And after all that we’ve been through, we always come out better!

And we also have to bear in mind that not all people are the same. Maybe someone you love hurt you in the past. What is unfair is when you think that all other people you meet after that, come into your life to hurt you again. In effect, you are guarded. You can’t totally put yourself into your new relationship in the fear that she’ll hurt you again, sooner or later. But again, this shouldn’t be the case.

What I am sure of is that there are people who come into your life who truly love you – who aren’t the same with your old love. Someone who will not go behind your back and hook up with another guy. Someone who will take you wholly despite your flaws. Someone who’ll stay and even endure all the pain while with you hoping that you’ll someday realized that you’ll being unfair for not giving her the chance to be loved by you whole heartedly, without inhibition, with all your walls down. Someone who’s hoping that someday she’ll receive that treatment she duly deserves from you.

So the bottom line is, unless you embrace the fact that there is someone out there who truly loves you, you wont experience real love and the lasting happiness that comes with it. And as the known saying exactly put it: you can not give what you do not have. Therefore if you do not have love in you, you can’t love others. You can pretend for a while, but the truth that you’re not capable of loving others will come out no matter what. This explains why you’re hopping from one relationship to the other but getting the same results. You might take it as progress as you learn some things from these experiences, but in actuality, you are just running in circles. And again, unless you accept love, let those walls down and open yourself to be hurt again, you will never experience true progress.

Thus, why not accept that she loves you? Why don’t you try to forget that you’ve been hurt in the past? Why don’t you stop treating her as your future enemy – as someone who will hurt you soon. This way, you can treat her well, you can give her the love she deserves from you. This way, you can cut the seemingly unending marathon to find love. And find true peace and happiness as well.

Love,

Your equally imperfect lover. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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