This Is What It Means To Truly Grow In Life

Carmen Marxuach
Carmen Marxuach

Dream job in the States, Indo-French 2BHK, proud parents, decent bank balance, solitaire earrings, platinum chain, a poodle and a boyfriend with cute ass.

Life is perfect, comfortable, happy, good and STAGNANT.

You have finally attained all the comfort of a happy life. But being in a permanent craving frenzy is not easy. You tend to ponder on plans that will make you grow in every material form possible. And this is where the problem begins.

You wake up into your queen-size bed with Mitsubishi blowing cool air into the room you once decorated with sparkling star stickers you got on sale from Walmart and One-D posters from your 22nd birthday presents. You look at the paint peeling off from the edges and you find Harry Styles staring at you in disdain, as if mocking you for being the same all this while. Accusing you of sleeping in the same bed under the same sparkling stars that have lost their sparkle because of you only.

You kick off the blanket aimlessly shambling towards the bathroom to be disgusted by the view of same toothpaste brand you’ve been using since you were two, you almost shut your eyes while rubbing the minty paste on your pearly whites.

You spend the whole day in the office. You try to immerse yourself in your MacBook just to vent out your morning nausea. You go out for dinner with your loved one. Skype with your parents later at night. But the moment you find yourself alone, the trail of self-questioning gears up in your already fucked-up brain making you feel like chomping your tongue with your own teeth.

A week off from work on the beaches with no one around, you feel you’re ready to hop back into your otherwise perfect life but back at home you again find a big question mark on your dresser, just above the framed picture from your Paris vacation, on your fridge door, inside rice jar, inside your commode. You try to flush it with all your atoms together and fail drastically.

Wait. Hold on. This question mark is nowhere but in your own head. You have been running behind substance for so long that you have lost your ability to sit in peace.

Growth is not your junior college mark sheet or an appraisal letter from the company headquarters. 

You’re growing when your regular order of potato gnocchi with cheddar changes to healthy but delicious salad. You grow when you finally learn to scoop out perfect rounds of ice-cream. You are growing with the cute bonsai you brought last year. You are growing while nursing your poodle each day.

Growth is not about success but about the consciousness you show towards your surroundings.

Change your bedroom wallpaper, try something brighter. Try a new toothpaste brand, maybe lemon flavoured this time. Try your hands at doodling or join the weekend opera lessons. Experiment new dishes for potluck. Get red tresses. Buy a few hippy skirts and bandannas. Chase a butterfly. Buy latte instead of regular espresso. Be crazy. Be experimental. Forget about yearly growth trackers. Grow with every nano-fraction of gas your take in. Grow beyond the concept of growth. Grow in every moment of life. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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