You met a great guy, and now you don’t want to let him slip through your fingers.
First, you’ll want to make sure you’re a good fit for each other. Think of yourself as a colander and him as spaghetti — you don’t want him to slide through the bottom into the sink! So feel free to throw a noodle at the wall and see if it sticks.
If he’s a good fit and you want it to work out, you will definitely want to know how to keep him interested. Good pasta is hard to come by (especially if you are gluten free) — and so is a good man.
1. Don’t try to prove that you’re better than him.
If you are a CEO and founder of the hottest cupcakerie corporation, he won’t fall in love with you because your bank account or your success is bigger than his. If you’re a smarty-pants, you don’t need to wow him with your brain capacity. You might be able to kick his butt in Scrabble, but men do not fall in love with your giant brain — they fall in love with your heart.
Instead, show him all of your amazing traits (just not all at once).
2. Keep dirty little secrets.
You don’t need to spell out every detail of the fun you had when you were in Guatemala in the summer of ’99 on a student exchange. You can, however, tell him about how excited you are about your upcoming trip to DC.
Dating isn’t about education, it is about connecting with a man on a different level.
If you are all cerebral and no heart, that’s where he will stay too. Do you really want him to focus on your brain and gossip, or something else? My vote is for something else — and it has everything to do with your essence.
3. Don’t stop acting like a child.
Lighten up! When you are dating a new guy, don’t forget to have fun while you’re getting to know each other. No Debbie Downers, please!
Look at the experience of getting to know someone through the eyes of a child. Remember what is was like to be a kid making mud pies or playing dress up? You can forget the dirty business for now, but when you’re getting ready for your date with this new hottie, don’t forget to play dress up.
Take a bubble bath, put on some music and make getting ready a pre-date with yourself. This way you will be feeling energized, beautiful and feminine when he picks you up.
4. Keep your friends in the loop.
Don’t forget your friends. When love (or lust) is in the air, sometimes you forget about the ones who’ve always had your back. Don’t diss your best friend and her annual candle party on Saturday night.
Every day doesn’t have to be spent with your new boyfriend. You can go out with him on Friday and your girlfriend’s party the next night. Men always like it when a woman’s world doesn’t revolve around his — there’s less pressure!
Besides, he’s got to have a night to watch football with his friends. So you might as well have fun, too.
5. Keep cookies everywhere.
Keep you and your place smelling tasty. Men love when a women doesn’t smell like, well … like a man. I Googled “scents men like” and found that men like you to smell yummy — think vanilla, citrus, etc.
If you end up at your place, lighting some yummy smelling candles is a good plan. When you fire up that chocolate chip cookie soy candle from the party, it will make him hungry … and not just for cookies.
6. Make “that woman is sexy” part of your vocabulary.
If you are on your date and he happens to let his eyes linger on a passing booty, you can chime in with a “She is so beautiful, isn’t she?” You can feel good about this because he is on a date with you — and not her booty.
This will show him you are confident in yourself and you aren’t going to freak out if he finds another woman attractive. Men are wired to keep their eyes peeled for protecting, and a beautiful woman just happened to walk by. It’s just his inner caveman coming out. Don’t beat his natural instincts down with a club because there will be times when you will be more than happy to meet his inner caveman… probably behind closed doors.
7. Don’t bend over backward for him.
If you have found yourself twisting yourself around trying to be someone you are not, just stop it! Without self-love it’s really hard for you to let someone else love you. Take a look at yourself every day andlove yourself first. Do only what makes you feel good and it will help you feel solid in yourself and your new budding relationship.
8. Take out your own trash.
When you begin a new relationship, let the past be the past. Don’t let the ghosts of lovers and boyfriends past fill up your brain with garbage.
If your last husband was a player, and you imagine the new guy is the same way, it’s not going to be good for you, him or the relationship. Put your baggage from old relationships in the dumpster and be sure to close the lid — and close it tight.
9. Believe in EPIC Love.
Keeping him interested is easy to do if you believe in yourself and you believe in the power of love. If you don’t believe in yourself, you’ve got nothing. So trust yourself. Know that there is EPIC love waiting for you and it is just around the corner.
This post originally appeared at YourTango.