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This Is Why I Wanted A Fling, A Temporary Love With You

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Pablo Heimplatz

I wanted a fling because it was too hard to wake up and not get a “good morning” text from you.

I wanted a fling because it was too hard to walk through the hallways and see another woman in your arms.

I wanted a fling because I wanted you to see that I was over you.
I wanted a fling because I wasn’t over you.
Not even a little. Not even at all.

This is why I wanted a fling. Because I cried every night after you left and I wanted someone’s hand to hold mine as I imagined it to be yours. Because I wanted to get lost in someone else’s mouth. Because I wanted to read poetry and watch movies and not have them remind me of you. Because I wanted you to be jealous.

But you weren’t jealous.
Not even a little. Not even at all.

I wanted a fling because that’s all I was to you. I was your fling. I was the rope pulling you up when you hit rock bottom. When she left you, you cried into my shoulders and kissed my mouth. I wrote you poetry and watched your favorite films.

And when she said she wanted you back, you left me.

Without hesitation.
Not even a little. Not even at all.

Because that’s what people do with flings, right?

Flings keep the bed warm until your partner wants to come back. They fill in the empty spaces up until someone comes back and fill them. They’re meant to be used and thrown away once love comes back into the door.

This is why I wanted a fling, because I was hoping, praying, desperately dreaming, that you’d come back.

So I will be here, with my temporary love, waiting for your return. TC mark

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