You lost them because they mistook your ocean for a puddle.
You lost them because they were too weak to fight for someone who would fight for them.
You lost them because they weren’t holding on to the hands that never wanted to let them go.
You lost them because their hearts never felt satisfied even with all of the love you could possibly offer.
You lost them, not because you weren’t enough but because they weren’t ready for the kind of love that you placed on a silver platter and handed them.
They weren’t ready for what was real.
They weren’t ready for the kind of love that isn’t all just laughter.
They weren’t ready for the gravity that came with having your arms around them.
They weren’t ready for you.
And that’s not your fault.
You are just a human being. One so fallible, your emotions change in a second. You can cry at sad stories and laugh at lame puns. You are the person who looks at the sky and is reminded of how big the world is. You keep a journal but forget about it after a week. You attend class but your mind wanders. You read poetry but hate rhymes. You love music but sing off key in your shower. You dream of flying but don’t want to leave the ground.
You are you, and I don’t see why you’re trying to fit yourself into someone else.
If they’re not ready to love you, then open your hands and let them fly free. Perhaps they’ll come back, perhaps they won’t. Perhaps they try to do so but find someone else instead. Perhaps they’re looking for someone just like you. Perhaps, they’ll never find it.
But one thing is for sure, their incapability to receive love should not hinder you from giving love.
I hope one day you stop blaming yourself, because it’s not your heart to blame for choosing the wrong person to love, nor is it your brain’s fault for seeing someone as the definition of perfect despite their flaws.
It is not your fault. It is not theirs. It is not loves. Because your soul is meant to wander, to reach heights, to hit roadblocks.
You are meant to love. You are meant to be loved.
I hope you stop blaming yourself because all you ever did was love. And nothing is more humble and beautiful than that.