1. Hi, Hello, Konnichiwa, Ni Hao.
If only I can say hello to you with all the 6,500 languages in the world; I would.
I always made you feel like I needed something from you whenever we communicate. That the only reason I reach out to you is because I needed to borrow you laptop for a class report or because I wanted to know when our exam for chemistry class was going to be.
But I hope you know that I will always remember each interaction we’ve had.
2. You took so many of my firsts.
They really did try, you know. To be gentle men. They opened doors the way you did. They carried bags the way you did. But they would never set an alarm on their phone at 2am to be reminded themselves to text me to drink my medicine. They would never be patient enough to travel with me for two hours just to make sure that I got home safely.
You will forever be the first one to look at me like as if I was the most beautiful girl in the world. The first one to give me so many hours. The first one to take care of me more than how I took care of myself.
3. I’m sorry.
I wish I could’ve said this in person but I know that I would never have the courage to come up to you and do so. Nor will I ever have enough words to tell you how sorry I am.
But to not take up so much of your time; I’m sorry that I took your heart. That I ripped it out of your chest like a thief and cut it open like a butcher, throwing away the parts of you that I found most beautiful. Then I returned if once it was hollow, filling you with nothing but empty spaces to fill.
4. Thank you.
Thank you for trusting me.
Thank you for taking care of me.
Thank you for being you.
5. How I wish it could’ve been you.
I wish that my heart would beat rapidly when I see you.
I wish that blood would rush to my cheeks when you hold me close.
I wish that there would be fireworks in the way we touched.
I wish I could’ve loved you the way you loved me.
6. One day, you’ll find her.
She’ll make your heart race and make the butterflies dance in your stomach.
I know you’ll treat her right, just how you’ve treated me.
And she’ll always make you feel loved as she gives you her firsts.
She’ll apologize to you and thank you for being you.
You will find her and you will lover her.
And darling, she’ll love you too.
And the two of you will shine in the darkest of nights.
Just how I wish we could’ve.