Do You Fancy Me? The Myth Of Online Dating

In this fast-paced society, we live in nowadays; it is not odd for us to meet someone from the internet – friendship wise or romantic relationship wise. Most people choose to go on this path for several reasons, you are bored, you are desperate for a relationship, or you simply just want to meet someone for sex. No matter what, it is a skeptical way of finding a perfect match. Moreover, there are a couple of successful internet-based relationships around me. I am here today to share my own experience – Is it safe to meet people online? Can you find your true love?

“On the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog.”

It is indeed a well say, and I believe most people agree with the idea of “on the internet, I could be a complete different person”. Here’s my experience of dating someone I met online:

“Roger and I had met online. As soon as we met, we exchanged personal information, including our phone numbers, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. At first it was just a casual chat, introductions, backgrounds, and interests. As time went by, we stepped up more, and something else had developed. He and I shared similar interests, hobbies and we often text and talked on the phone, even Skype for several times. The longer we talked, the more I liked him. I had so many fantasies for him, and I even dreamed about him. After months of interactions, we decided to meet up. It did not take me a long time to get dressed because I did not dress cute in a way, just casual and relaxed. The day finally came; I was waiting for him, uneasy, and he finally showed up…”

I would say this is the end of the story for me. When he showed up, it was a total disappointment. He looked like a completely different person, and I felt like deceived and fooled by this stranger in front of me. Perhaps he felt the same way towards me, but I did not care. He was too skinny (in which I cannot tell by his pictures because they were mostly in winter outfit), he had a poor sense of fashion, and he did not smell nice. He did not get me like him out of the first sight, and sadly no matter how hard he tired to impress me with his personality and knowledge later on, I never accepted him.

After this distasteful experience, I had not been compelling to meet guys online anymore. It is tempting, but rubbish. Few months passed by, one day a girl friend of mine told me that she was meeting up with a guy she had met online, and she was quite nervous. Unexpectedly, she came back with good news; she and the guy met up, and they had a wonderful first date. I then asked her a few questions that I was confusing by in my previous experience:

“Does he look the same compare to his pictures?”

“Does he smell nice?”

“Does he act differently than he the present online?”

Unexpectedly, she told me that he looked just like pictures he put online, he smelled nice, and he was not timid when they went on the date. I thought to myself that I was just unlucky, but after a couple of my friends’ online dating confessions, I analyzed a few possibilities that can make an online dating encounter successful.

1. Make sure to have lots of video or picture contacts if possible – This is for those whose scared that pictures do not match the real person. According to friends of mine, the more picture or video contacts you have with him, the less you would be stressing.

2. Don’t expect too much – Yes, losers like me with all kinds of fantasies always ended up bad. When you expect too much from a person you have never met in person, you would only disappoint yourself. Try to adjust your attitude to a ‘neutral’ stage, and do not expect him to do anything.

3. Relax! This is a dating site; do not get too serious – This happens to many of my friends, and even me. Lots of girls go on a dating website and expect to meet a Mr. Right, I’m not saying it is not possible, but do not get too serious at the beginning. Try to relax and just enjoy your dates, you might as well discover something new about this guy.

These three major techniques are for your ATTITUDE and MINDSET only, but for dating techniques, that would be another matter. It is not weird to date people online, but it would be weird if you can not put yourself in the right situation. Good luck! Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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